How I Found You
by Sakura Yosei
Summary: Post FFX, Rikku is having a hard time dealing with the loss of Auron, a man she found herself to be in love with. When coping, she finds herself 10 years in the past. RR! Dropped Planning to rewrite
1. How I Broke The Barriers of Time

Hey folks. ::sweatdrop:: you must be wondering what the heck I'm doing, why am I rewriting this story, where have you been the past 2.5/3 years?! Ahhh I know. I honestly just lost interest. I didn't know what to add, I hadn't gotten as far ahead thinking wise so when I hit the last part I had thought out in my mind things just kind of…stopped. However recently I've been thinking about it again, I've beaten 10 and I've beaten 10-2. So I think I have a lot more knowledge now. Anyways, I'm going to be slowly rewriting this story, adding tons more, changing some things, mainly the pace is going to slow down a lot. I feel like I was rushing, being an amateur fan fiction writer. Just wanted to get to the things I loved fast, leaving out or forgetting details I had had before, etc. I feel some of the characters are very out of character. I don't want that, I want this to be believable. So I'll stop yammering and start writing instead.

**Disclaimer** Don't own them, never will ::cries::

**Title** How I Found You

**Pairings** Rikku/Auron, some Rikku/Jeckt, maybe some reference to Yuna/Tidus.

**Rating** Just to be safe…you should be at least 16 XD rated about NC-17 to M. There are some adult things such as sex (consensual and nonconsensual), swearing, violence and the like.

**Genre** Romance/Drama/Action

**Synopsis** Post FFX, Rikku is having a hard time dealing with the loss of Auron, a man she found herself to be in love with. When coping, she finds herself pulled into the waters and emerges in past, 10 years in the past. Upon arriving she stumbles into a familiar face.

**Chapter 1** How I Broke the Barriers of Time

It has been a month since Yunie beat Sin, a month since all of us beat Sin. Time seems to be slowing since then because everyone just focuses on Yunie. All they do is shower her with gifts and praise, talk about plans of the future now. Everyone else seems to be off doing his or her own thing, not really caring that Yuna is the center of attention. It's not a surprise though really, it technically is her pilgrimage and calm, but it seems Spira forgot all about her guardians.

I don't mind really, ever since we beat Sin I've just been anti-social. Losing Tidus was one thing, but then Auron too? Tidus has felt like a brother to me…and Auron… I suppose it wasn't till after he was gone I soon began to realize and understand these awkward feelings I have for him. I thought it was just nervousness or extreme sign of respect, or something that I couldn't quite put into words. However once he was gone there was this longing feeling, I wanted to see that smirk behind the red collar, the way he spoke with such thoughtfulness and the way he seemed to understand me and I him even though we seemed so different.

I felt my eyes well up at this point and just rubbed my fingers along them gently, trying to get rid of the tears. It was then I noticed how dirty my fingers looked, something that shouldn't have surprised me seeing I had been camping out at the Zanarkand ruins since Sin had been defeated. I wasn't really sure why but then again I realize it was quiet, a place no one really wants to go to. So I could be alone with my thought.

There wasn't much water around however. Only way to bathe really was finding small pool areas of water. A bath…it sounded good in my mind, I was tired of thinking about grim things. Thinking about grim things wasn't a Rikku thing to do I had decided. Or was it just a thing people decided Rikku wouldn't do? I let out a sigh and stood slowly, letting some feeling come back into my legs. There I go again I thought.

"Just think bath, bath, bath. I smell horrible." I spoke to myself and I sniffed myself a little.

I opened the flap to my small green tent and dug around, shoving tons of clothes, accessories, items and blankets out of the way as I looked. It took awhile to find my towel but when I did I frowned. It was turning brown, no wonder I was having a hard time finding it among my stuff.

"Guess I'll have to do laundry too…" I muttered.

I snatched it up along with my bar of lavender soap and headed over to this area of water near my tent. It had started out small when I arrived but it slowly started to fill and fill, to the point I think it now connected to the oceans of Spira. I wasn't quite sure. However I had decided if expanded any farther I was moving my camp farther away. I didn't really want to wake up to find myself wet or underwater, or even worse, not wake up at all.

I felt my feet reach the water after walking a few feet and let out a small groan. I suppose I was the type of person who needed to do things but hated actually doing them. Was that considered laziness? Who knew? I was feeling too tired and dirty to care. I just threw my towel into the water and then decided to kneel at the edge, feeling my knees complain as they dug in to the rocky surface. I was soon scrubbing at the towel the best I could with my nails. The stains weren't really coming out though.

It was starting to look hopeless so I reached back for my bar of soap. When I couldn't feel it with my fingers I decided to look back over my shoulder for it. It was sitting on a rock a tiny bit away. Did I put it there? Was my mind playing tricks on me? Had someone moved it? Was I just tired? I scratched my head a little in confusion and before I knew it I felt myself falling forward to the water.

I let out a small muffled scream and then stopped, I didn't want any more water to be in my lungs. I looked around to see if someone was holding me down and panicked when I saw no one was. I felt myself being pulled deeper and deeper and all I could do was panic in my head. What was happening? I squinted my eyes shut and started counting in my head as I felt currents pulling and pushing at my body.

All I knew was if I was going to survive this ride I was going to be very sick to my stomach. All of the pressure of the water around me was hurting and when I thought it was going to be over, I was actually right. Only reason I knew was because I suddenly felt air, which I gladly sucked up through my nose and mouth. The air was cold and breezy, causing me to shiver along with the slightly cold water. However as I had thought, I soon felt sick. Coughing up water and soon felt myself throw up. I was heaving as I opened my eyes slowly.

As I opened them I saw sand, pure white sand, minus the contents of my stomach ruining the lovely color. I almost squinted from how bright the color was however I soon saw water hit the shore. The wave came up to my hands slowly and then it went back down slowly, washing away the vomit with it. I just kneeled there with my support on my elbows, breathing heavily and wondering what on earth had happened.

I was still lost in thought when I felt a big wave hit my back, sending me tumbling and soon I found myself lying on my stomach a bit farther up on the shore, groaning at the annoying wake up call from my thoughts. I was about to kneel again when I saw the ground below me go black, indicating a shadow.

"Might want to get up before another wave hits you" I heard a man's voice spoke.

I thought my mind was playing tricks on me again, first my bar of soap, and now a voice that almost sounded like…Auron's? It was a bit different, well…younger sounding. Something seemed a little off. I was too scared to look up. What if it was? No that's just crazy I thought. It was my stomach; I was feeling sick, that must have been it. Or maybe it was all that water in my ears or something. Maybe that could be it too.

Once again I was finding myself traveling to the back of mind, thinking, wondering, hoping. The questions "Could it be?" "It can't be?" kept going across my mind back and forth, back and forth. Maybe I should actually just look up at the guy to know for sure. But what if I don't want to know for sure? I let out a very loud mental groan at my indecisiveness. I was turning into Wakka!

Before I had even the chance to try and stand up I felt myself yanked rather hard. Instead of landing on my stomach this time I landed on butt. It was not very happy either.

"What do you think you're doing old man?!" I yelled as it had snapped me out of my thoughts once more.

Am I not allowed to think to myself anymore?! I thought feeling very frustrated. I glanced back seeing a strong wave hit where I was and only just groaned to myself. I kneeled and rubbed my sore bottom, brushing sand off of it.

"Who are you calling old? I'm not that much older then yourself." The man spoke again and let go of my remaining wrist.

I glanced up slowly this time, bringing a hand up to block the sun out of my eyes as the black shadow slowly turned into a figure, a very familiar figure. I felt my mouth go agape at seeing that trademark smirk. Surprise and shock quickly turned to relief and happiness as I felt moisture come to my eyes the second time that day. I felt myself fall back onto my bottom as I looked up at him more, taking him in.

"I'm going crazy….i'm imagining things….he can't be here…he's not real….he's dead…." I heard myself muttering quietly, feeling tears run down my cheeks.

Oddly enough, I could feel my the muscles in mouth moving upwards, into a small shy smile as I cried to myself.

Well hows that for a good old first chapter huh? I plan to rewrite all the chapters for this. So haha. Please R/R let me know how you like this so far. R/R and let me know if you're still around and reading this XD

As I said in my old chapter "Feeling nervous here….." lol

Till next time ::hands out FFX Rikku plushies:

Ja Mata!

Sakura Yosei (Eimii)


	2. How I Felt Like A Stranger

Sorry for making you guys wait a bit. Being in college is kinda a pain you know? My new thing to do is write while actually having the game on, so I can see certain geographical things, etc. plus so I can check out old FMVs, convos, etc. Anyways, on with the story.

**Disclaimer** Don't own them, never will ::cries::

**Title**: How I Found You

**Pairings**: Rikku/Auron, some Rikku/Jecht, maybe some reference to Yuna/Tidus.

**Rating**: Just to be safe…you should be at least 16 XD rated about NC-17 to M. There are some adult things such as sex (consensual and nonconsensual), swearing, violence and the like.

**Genre**: Romance/Drama/Action

**Synopsis**: Post FFX, Rikku is having a hard time dealing with the loss of Auron, a man she found herself to be in love with. When coping, she finds herself pulled into the waters and emerges in past, 10 years in the past. Upon arriving she stumbles into a familiar face.

**Chapter 2** How I Became A Stranger

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

It had been a few minutes of silence, pure silence. Only exception to this was my crying. At this point I had stopped looking up at him, and buried my head in my knees, sobbing away in relief and confusion. Had I truly gone crazy? First my soap, then the waters and now Auron is magically alive?

"Hey…there is no need to cry" I heard Auron say quietly, his smirk disappearing.

All I could do was keep crying to the point I felt my upper body shake as I did. "Why are you crying? The wave wasn't that big."

I decided to look up at him a bit again and sniffled, feeling a few drops of moisture run down my cheeks still. His shadow over me grew smaller and smaller as he kneeled down beside me. Pushing some of my wet strands way from my face. This act of kindness seemed very un-Auron to me. Yet I relished his touch in the back of my mind. Provided this was not just my journey-worn and broken mind hallucinating.

I slowly let my blurry vision travel up Auron's face slowly, noting the subtle things. He had a little bit of stubble on his chin, which seemed rather Auron. His lips were parted slightly and I could smell spices and very faint alcohol on his breath. My eyes finally met his dark brown ones and I soon heard him gasp slightly.

"What…?" I asked slowly, sniffling a bit still.

"Your eyes…you're an Al Bhed." Auron said more to himself then to me.

I nodded slowly and was starting to feel worried, so obviously he didn't know me. Otherwise he would have already known I was an Al Bhed. I was a stranger. I hugged my knees a bit tighter and buried my head again. I felt my chest tightening as I tried to keep the urge to cry again at bay.

"Don't cry again…I'm sorry if I offended you. I have no problem with Al Bheds. It's just I've officially met one before. Yevonites usually stay away from Al Bheds…" He tried to explain.

"I know…" I spoke very quietly and shifted my body so my back was to him.

"I suppose you would know…what is an Al Bhed doing in Besaid anyway?" He asked in a thoughtful tone.

I finally decided to stand and brushed the sand off of my soaked shorts, stumbling a little. I guess my legs weren't functioning 100 yet, which was to be expected. I took a deep breath and rubbed my eyes a bit.

"I washed up onto the shore…one minute I'm in Zanarkand the next I'm here…." I spoke slowly as I tried to piece it together myself.

I kicked a small pebble within the sand towards the waves as I waited to hear about how crazy I was.

"Sounds like everyone is coming from Zanarkand these days…" Auron said slightly amused and even though my back was to him I could tell his smirk has returned.

"Yeah yeah I know…I must be crazy" I said feeling a little upset and peeved. I looked over to see a small section by the beach, above it grass and flowers had grown, among the grass and flowers were very small ruins.

I walked over to it and looked up at it slowly before reaching up for the edge, pulling myself up and sitting on the edge.

"Hey, get down from there. I'm sorry" Auron groaned and stood up, brushing himself off.

"I don't appreciate being called crazy Auron…" man was I getting perturbed! Nothing was making sense, however I soon calmed down a bit and added, "Although it is probably true…"

"You aren't crazy its just I know this guy named Jec…wait a minute. How do you know my name?" Auron suddenly looked very intrigued.

I felt my eyes grow wide and I was panicking. I had said his name without thinking. Then again I was so used to him teasing me or annoying me in small ways and me snapping back at him. It was out of habit…like the old days…but could I really call them old days? Here he was…no scars…no gray hair.

I let my legs slide away from the edge and moved farther back on the grassy ledge. Crap crap crap I thought. I just won't say anything more. Just shut your mouth Rikku.

"Hey!" Auron shouted as I moved out of his sight. "You're an odd person…"

Awhile passed and I slowly crawled towards the edge, peeking down and saw he was gone. I felt my lips pout a bit and then bit them. I was being so stupid and childish. Yet I felt like I was acting like I used to. Did Auron have this much of an effect on me? I stifled a small yawn that put a halt to further thought on it and scooted back towards the small tower ruins. I leaned my back against it and felt my eyes close slowly.

I was surprised I wasn't tired any sooner, that journey sure did smack me around a lot. Another yawn came from my mouth as I wondered what the heck I was going to do. Auron was gone...I still didn't know if I was imagining things…

"Hey! Al Bhed Girl!!!"

Some shouting from below slowly woke me from my sleep. I rubbed my eyes and looked around, I was still in Besaid and the sun was now setting. I crawled to the edge and peered down to see Auron standing there, looking rather impatient. I had to suppress a small giggle cause seeing Auron look impatient was rather amusing. However I soon remembered he had been loud and woke me up. I also hated being called by things other then my name.

"People from Bevelle can hear you…and I have a name you know" I groaned.

"There you are. I talked to my summoner, he wishes to meet you." He looked up and added with a curious tone "and what is your name anyway?"

"Your summoner?" I asked and thought…Uncle Braska…how will this work? He never did meet me…so I suppose there would be no harm.

That's when it hit me, this really was the past. I had to be careful with what I say or do. I can't alter the past...although since I was back 10 or so years…did this mean I could save Auron? But what repercussions would this have on the future? Auron made sure Tidus got to present day Spira via Sin…and Tidus met me…and Yuna. Yuna… that would be unfair, she already lost him…but to lose him and not even know? Was I being selfish for even considering changing the past?

"Summoner Braska. He wants to meet you since you say you came from Zanarkand. We have someone else with us who is from there too." Auron's voice suddenly reminded me I was with him and I instantly thought the name "Jecht" as he said someone from Zanarkand.

"I'm not _from_ Zanarkand. I just happened to be there when I was pulled into the waters." I said in deep thought, sitting at the edge of the ledge now, dangling my feet back and forth as I thought.

"I see…you still haven't told me your name." I was surprised Auron was being so insistent on asking my name. Normally he didn't really care about small things like that.

"Rikku…" I spoke peacefully.

I felt a small spark of happiness knowing he'd be calling my name again. I couldn't help but smile a little and look off at the sun setting on the horizon.

"Rikku…" he said to himself… I was smiling on the inside as well, but I knew for sure my inner smile was a grin now. My name sounded lovely when he spoke it. "So Rikku…if you wish to meet my summoner, we should get going. Sun is setting and it's a bit of a walk to the village"

Besaid Village: home of Yuna, Wakka and Lulu. Wait! I panicked suddenly. Lulu, Wakka and even his brother Chappu would be living in the village. I couldn't go in there. That would change things…I need to preserve things as much as possible.

"I can't go to the village…but I do want to meet your summoner." I bit my lip a bit.

"You really are an odd one…I'm sure you have your reasons." He spoke thoughtfully and started to take off his jacket.

"What are you doing?" I asked curiously and then felt his jacket hit my face. I moaned a bit and rubbed my nose a little. "You carry rocks in this thing?"

Auron just gave me his trademark smirk and started to walk off. "We are leaving tomorrow morning so you can meet Braska then. Since you aren't coming to the village you should stay up there for the night. If you're up high fiends won't be a problem."

"Oh ok…but why did you give me your jacket?" I called out to him

"It gets cold at night" I heard him call back.

"Thank you!" I called again and watch his tall form slowly leave the beach.

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

BAM. A chapter. Took me forever to write I know. Gahh. I want to write new chapters but then I realize I should rewrite everything else first so I don't have to go back and rewrite _those_ chapters. Since I'm changing things, and its taking more chapters to get to certain places.

BTW, if you're confused about where Rikku is. You know how in FFX-2 you have to get the number off of these shipher things in areas of Besaid? Well, this is the little area you can climb up onto that's on the beach. It's the one right by the docks.

Rewatching the Jecht spheres + brushing up on the old pilgrimage info really made realize how much I was on crack when I originally wrote this. Nowhere near accurate. XD

Let me know how this was….. R/R


	3. How I Told My Uncle

Man oh man, please don't shoot me

Man oh man, please don't shoot me. What I'm doing right now is a marathon writing session, I hope that my writing doesn't slowly degrade as I do this through out the night. Lmao. I saw my inbox today and I saw a PM from silent mousie. Omg I'm so sorry, but at th same time I'm glad. Glad someone keeps nagging at me to write more, I ow it to the aurikku fans. I haven't updated since September of last year. But I haven't been doing nothing, I swear! I have this notebook and its almost filled entirely with notes and crap for the story x.x; I've been reading and watching and playing and everything. So here it goes, I hope to finish this rewrite in a few days and continue. I kinda have ambitious plans for this story, such as covering ffx all over and ffx-2 and beyond.

**Disclaimer** Don't own them, never will :cries:

**Title**: How I Found You

**Pairings**: Rikku/Auron, some Rikku/Jecht, maybe some reference to Yuna/Tidus.

**Rating**: Just to be safe…you should be at least 16 XD rated about NC-17 to M. There are some adult things such as sex (consensual and non consensual), swearing, violence and the like.

**Genre**: Romance/Drama/Action

**Synopsis**: Post FFX, Rikku is having a hard time dealing with the loss of Auron, a man she found herself to be in love with. When coping, she finds herself pulled into the waters and emerges in past, 10 years in the past. Upon arriving she stumbles into a familiar face.

**Chapter 2** How I Met my Uncle

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

I felt my eyelids grow heavy shortly after Auron had left…and I was still pondering if maybe I was dreaming within a dream. After all, dreams were complicated right? Just look at Zanarkand and Tidus….they seemed real yet were a dream. Perhaps it was all this heavy thinking that was making me tired. I felt chills go down my spine and I pulled Auron's coat around me even more, breathing in its mixture of spice and alcohol. It sure smelled real…I smiled a little before stifling a yawn with my right hand. It was going to be a cold night…I could tell. I curled up into a ball among some tall grass and yawned more, pulling the coat over my head to block out the moonlight shining through the ruin openings.

I felt myself being dragged…or was I dreaming still? I groaned a little as I felt my head hit a bump in the ground and opened my eyes a bit. I quickly regretted it and shut them as the sun was shining down brightly. I squinted a bit and groaned in protest, I really hated bright lights in the morning. If this was Auron's idea of a joke I was going to kill him.

"Auron…stop it, let go of me…" I moaned as I felt myself being dragged along the ground even more.

For a few moments I think I was ignored, I wasn't sure. I just felt myself being dragged along the ground more as I heard two or three people panting. Apparently I was quite heavy to drag. My head hit another bump and groaned even louder in protest, finally waking up. I kicked my legs a little to find hands were grasping them tightly.

"First a drunk from 'Zanarkand' and now an Al-Bhed girl tinkering around in the ruins…what is Besaid coming to?" I heard a man complain quietly.

I knew it, I was being ignored…or maybe they were hoping I was still sleeping despite their sloppy dragging job. I knew now for certain that it wasn't Auron. I opened my eyes fully now and kicked my feet a little more.

"Yeah and that young monk was talking about bringing her into the village? Has Summoner Braska's way of thinking gone to his head? Yevonites and Al Bheds…" I heard another man reply back.

I felt this sinking feeling in my heart, if I had thought Al Bhed and Yevonite relations were bad during my time…I should have remembered the past. I began to feel angry and thrashed violently.

"Don't ignore me like I'm sleeping…cause I'm not anymore! Let go of me this instant!" I yelled at them.

"Oh look the Al-Bhed temptress is awake. Better get rid of her before those villagers come to the docks." The younger looking man now spoke.

I looked at the two men holding me, one was younger, probably my age. The other was an older, nastier looking man, maybe Braska's age. His face was a bit scarred on his cheek and his skin tanned from the island sun. Yet he didn't seem like a local, he had an odd arrowhead tattoo on his wrists and had the same design on his shorts.

"Let me go!" I shouted at the two and tried to kick more.

"You ain't going nowhere sweetie, except the bottom of the Spiran ocean." The elder man sneered at me.

"Why?! I haven't even done anything? Is it a crime to sleep in the wilderness?" I thrashed more, managing to get one of my legs free from the younger man's grasp.

"Why you?!" the younger man got angry and continued to shout at me "Your crime is being an Al-Bhed!"

I kicked at the elder guy's hands now, trying to get myself fully free. I couldn't help but panic deep down at this point. I had fought Sin…battled Aeons…Seymour…yet nothing prepared me for a crime filled with deep hate…with me as its victim. It made me angry and sad all at the same time.

With some wild thrashing, I managed to get my other leg free and began to crawl towards the edge to jump down. As I was about to hop down I felt a hand grab the back of my head, pulling at the millions of hair strands connected to my head. I whimpered as it hurt, feeling a tear roll down my cheek.

"Where are you going sweetie? Want down? You can go down!" the elder man shouted at me and before I knew I felt myself falling forward towards the ground below.

I brought my hands up to shield me a bit but I felt my body hit the sand roughly, coughing as sand landed in my mouth. The younger man jumped down and landed beside me with grace and quickly lunged down at me. I rolled to the side and I saw him lunge again at me with his hands. I was quick again and I heard him swear under his breath. Since when was anger this fueled? Was being who I was really a crime? I felt more tears roll down my cheeks as I panicked.

He lunged again at me, and before I could roll to the side I felt something heavy and stringy land on me. I opened my eyes to see the elder man threw a fishing net from the docks onto me. I panicked more and tried to claw out, knowing if I was stuck under here I was finished. My worst fears were realized when I felt the younger man's foot connect with my stomach. I felt the wind being knocked out of me and I coughed, curling up into a ball, whimpering.

Where had the strong Rikku gone? Did she die alongside Sin? Alongside Tidus and Auron? Did I cast aside my happy protective shell? Had it been a shell? I so desperately wished for that strong Rikku to come back as I felt their feet connect with my stomach over and over. I didn't know how much more I could take. I whimpered for them to stop, at least I thought I heard my voice, the smacking sound of the impact was so loud and horrible in my ears.

"Stop…." I whimpered and I soon became quiet. I felt a foot connect with my face.

I bit my bleeding lip hard as I heard a cracking noise, knowing it had to have been something breaking. I soon could tell as I was coughing up blood, some teeth falling out into the sand as I felt extreme pain along my jaw. I lost my voice, how could I tell my attackers to stop with a broken jaw? I felt my tears running down into the blood on my cheeks and chin, whimpering as I felt a few more loud cracks alongside their kicks to my stomach.

I saw the younger guy going in for one more kick and I closed my eyes but didn't feel it. I opened my eyes slowly to see the elder man holding him back.

"Now now…don't kill her just yet, we have to put her in the ocean first…" he cooed at the thought

My stomach felt even more sick then before and I started coughing up more blood into the sand, leaving a rather huge puddle in the wake of violence.The heavy and stringy net was soon thrown off me and I saw the younger guy grin the most evil grin I had ever seen. I think his only competition would have been Seymour…

"Bring her this way…" the elder guy motioned and I felt my body been dragged again in the sand.

I whimpered as all my broken bones protested, feeling sick as I watched the blood smear the sand where I was previously. My wounds ached, they were sore, miserable, open, sand seeping in. I couldn't cry loudly anymore for the pain was so great. I soon felt my body hit the dock and I felt the younger man's hand wrap around my slender neck slowly, applying more pressure. He peered deep into my eyes and grinned that evil grin…as if he wanted to the see the exact moment my eyes lost sign of life.

My vision was starting to get blurry and as his grip tightened. He started to coo softly to me like the elder guy had to him just moments before. "Your kind is so disgusting…they are a disgrace to Yevon…you'll be my first kill…of many…of your kind" he chuckled a little and gazed into my eyes more "you and your disgusting eyes….just die already."

My vision was getting even blurrier and I saw the color of the ocean come into view, I knew this was the end. My life was over. The future as I knew it was over. I sobbed silently and waited for it to come, however it didn't. All I heard was clanking of steel and my suddenly my body was flying towards the ocean water below the docks until I felt a jolt. My body was stopped mid flight, with a tight arm planted around my waist. The jolt of me stopping sent the last bit of hold the bands had on my hair flying, causing it to cascade down onto my shoulders.

I soon heard murmuring and then yelling and soon nothing…everything….was gone?

"Rikku…was it?" I heard a voice whisper softly.

My eyes opened slightly to see a ceiling above me, it was wood…and it was rocking back and forth slowly. I thought maybe I was going crazy. I peered to the right slowly to see a slightly concerned face of Auron, who had a nick on his cheek. I blinked a few times slowly to see he was still there before me. I glanced to my left and saw an elder man, dressed in black and red robes with a headdress of some sort.

"B…Braska…" I barely managed to make out with my voice, coughing a little.

"Oh you're awake now…thank goodness, I was worried I had lost my healing touch…you should take it easy." Braska spoke back calmly, giving me a warm smile.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I tried to talk but couldn't find my voice any more. I bit my sore lip gently and noticed I could actually bite my lip. I brought my hand up to my face slowly and squinted at it, my fingers looked off. But none the less I felt around my face slowly, letting out an inaudible gasp. Braska must have been a miracle worker…cause my face felt normal.

"Your fingers…" Braska spoke once more and brought my hand close to him, examining it. "I somehow missed it…"

I felt him stroke them slowly and before I knew it I heard a small crunching sound, and pain, but when I looked at my hand my fingers were proper and straight. I winced and suddenly I remembered whose presence I was in. Auron and Braska's…. I tried to talk but remembered again my voice was hoarse, so I tried motioning for their attention.

"My lord…why don't you talk with her, I'm sure there is much to discuss. I'm going to go up on deck" Auron said quietly and stood up without making a sound.

I wanted to yell his name, tell him to stay, stay by my side. He must have been the one to save me, I wanted to say thanks, hug him for dear life. I brought my hand up to grab him but he walked away, soon all I heard was faint boot noises on the steps. I brought my hand back down slowly and looked over at Braska.

"You can talk very well right now, I had to do a lot to get your jaw healed. For now you can write on this." He handed me a stack thin paper and a small ink brush.

I took the brush from his hand gingerly and brought it up to the first paper on the stack, my hand shaking nervously and in pain.

"B…Braska…really you?" I wrote out slowly in sloppy writing.

Even though I spoke Al-Bhed and everything….i never really wrote. So my hand writing often looked childish. I looked at him a bit worried but he smiled slightly at my writing.

"Yes…I am Summoner Braska. Were you seeking me?"

"Yes. I'm Rikku. Hard to explain my circumstance…but I trust you to keep secret." I wrote out carefully and I felt my heart pounding deep in my chest. Could I really trust him to keep it quiet? Would he think I'm a nut job? I felt like my hand was writing this all out on its own.

"Secret?" the look on his face could be described as intrigue but I wasn't sure. So I kept writing out frantically.

"Was in Zanarkand…ended up here."

"Oh I have a fellow traveling with me who had the same thing happened, although it was Bevelle not…" he stopped as he saw me write more frantically

"No! not same, he from Zanarkand. I was only there, in future. 10 years in future! Got washed away somehow. Ended up on beach" Braska let out a small gasp as he read.

"Really?" he asked seriously.

"Yes. I'm not lying. Swear. Its nice to finally meet you….un.." I wrote a bit more frantically and stopped, my hand hurting.

"Un…?" he inquired.

I gulped a bit and brushed some hair out of my eyes, attempting to sit up a little.

"Un…" I tried speaking but could barely hear a squeak come out. I felt myself getting angry. I wanted to convey it so badly to him with my voice, not writing.

"Un….uncle" I muttered out with much effort.

"I'm your uncle…? You su…" he started to sound hesitant

"Cid…" I forced out suddenly, coughing a bit.

"Cid…what about Cid?"

"Cid….is my…father" I tried even harder.

I heard Braska breathe deeply and look at me, as if reliving the past.

"I haven't seen him since Yuna was born…" he spoke to himself softly. "After she was born I was kicked out of the clergy and Cid banished my Wife from the Al-Bhed Home…"

I nodded slightly and gave him a sad smile. My father never talked much about my Aunt but I knew he loved her very much. I think deep down he really did regret banning his own sister, but I think he was worried Braska coming in would ruin his peaceful Home. I'm sure she understood deep down, at least I hope so.

"So you are my niece Rikku…I believe you were the last piece of news I ever heard of from Home…" He spoke quietly.

"Guardian…." I spoke forcefully.

"What…guardian?" he asked.

"Be your guardian…" I spoke forcefully once more.

"I can't put your life in jeopardy. Cid would never forgive me." Braska explained.

"Come on Braska, more the merrier!" I heard a raspy voice reply from the doorway.

I looked over and saw a shirtless man standing there, barefoot with black shorts, he was tanned with a tattoo on his chest. As I looked up I saw an aged face, rugged looking in ways, long brownish hair that was way too messy and It was complimented only slightly with a dirty red bandanna.

"Oh Jecht you finished recording your sphere already?" Braska asked gently and then added "Rikku this is Jecht."

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

Sooo….um how did you like that…its 4am already?! Blargh. So much for marathon, but seriously more soon. I want to get this done. Ezri….Silent Mousie…my fans….THIS IS FOR YOU!!1111 WOOOO lol. Ok I'm on crack or something. Please R/R. and keep in mind. I'm in the middle of rewriting! So for new readers…theres going to be weird awkward shifts and stuffs….like stuff not making sense XD

-Amy/Eimii/Sakura Yosei


	4. How I Felt Violated

Alright, I've had this idea since um…five minutes ago. ^_^;;

Anyway, thanks for all the reviews and don't worry action is coming soon. Hehe. Even I can't resist some action scenes. 

How I Found You: A Rikku/Auron Fic

Chapter 4: How I Felt Violated

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            I was really growing tired of that boat. It stunk to high heaven and Jecht with his drinking. At least I talked to Braska openly now. What surprised me is that he wanted to hear about Yunie's pilgrimage. He wanted to know all about everything in the future knowing he wouldn't be there to see it. Also, he agreed with me to not try and alter the future.

            We reached the port of Luca soon and I was first to get off. Two days of torture it was. With Jecht and Auron fighting, both getting drunk now it was becoming a disaster. I just sighed and stretched my legs on the dock, waiting for the others. I soon saw Auron emerge, and then Braska followed by Jecht.

            "Where are we staying?" I asked.

            "The inn near the Blitzball stadium" Jecht said, his eyes lighting up with the B word.

            "Sounds alright." I said. I personally never liked Blitzball; I just never said that around Wakka and Tidus.

            "We should head there now," Braska said.

            "Ok." I said and started walking.

            Our group didn't get far before we heard a commotion. We ran to see what it was.

            "That man stole my merchandise!" a woman trader yelled.  

            I dropped my stuff giving Auron and the others a nod. "Meet me at the inn" I stated and took off after the man with the goods. It didn't take me long to see where he was going, to one of the farther off docks. Five minutes later, I had lost him a big crowd. I still rushed to the farthest away dock, figuring that's where he was going.

            My lungs burned as I continued to run past the many people. I soon reached the dock and panted, trying to catch my breath. I made sure my Godhand was ready and then I went around the corner to see a big alcove with crates. There I saw the man I had been chasing, with four other men. 

            "Give back that merchant's merchandise!" I yelled.

            They looked at me and went back to what they were doing. I dug in my pouch and pulled out an Electro Marble. I threw it at them and it struck near them, startling them. The pulled out sword, knives and one even a blitzball. I went into a fighting stance and waited for their move.

            The one with the blitzball struck me first in the legs, causing me to fall. The others lunged at me with their knives. I brought my targe up to block them and one slashed my arm open. I managed to kick one of them off of me, but they were overpowering me. I shouldn't have run off alone I realized. Another knife lunged down into shoulder. 

            I was almost free in breaking them off of me when I felt something hit my head and went out cold. I don't know when I woke up but I was in that alcove next to a crate, tied up. My wounds ached badly as I shifted a bit. I felt really dizzy and wanted to throw up.

            "What should we do with her?" I heard them say.

            "Kill Her." One of them spoke.

            "I think we should all get a chance to do something to her first." Another spoke.

            I blacked out again from feeling dizzy. I really should have fought to stay awake.

            I saw it was sunset as I woke up again; I was in the alcove, on the ground now. The thing that scared me was that they were gone. The ropes on my ankles and wrists gone. My weapons were there as well.

            When I stood however, I realized I had an even more reason to be scared. I fell back to the ground. My pelvic bones crying in pain when I moved. What had they done to me? Not only that but my upper leg felt wet. I went to feel it and brought it back up…it was some traces of blood, but it looked pink…I followed were the trail was coming from and gasped.

            It just brought tears to my eyes that they would actually rape me. I would have rather been killed or tortured. I stood slowly and limped a bit against the alcove wall. With the way my pelvic bones hurt it meant they all must've…shame…it was all I could think of.

            Still, Auron and others were waiting for me so I continued to limp along walls in town. Just thinking about the others made me cringe…I couldn't say anything. The culprit could be long gone…they had the merchandise…but deep down I realized they had gotten a better treasure in their eyes. I hit the wall in frustration. Why?! 

            It took me thirty minutes to get to the inn because of my state. I just couldn't think of what to say, or what the others would say about the blood dripping down my leg. So when I was about to enter our room as the innkeeper pointed out, I walked in so they couldn't see the inner side of my one leg.

            "Rikku! We were worried." Braska first spoke.

            "I'm fine…" I said almost laughing, thinking of myself as a joke.

            "Did you get the stuff back?" Jecht asked.

            "No…." I said and headed toward the bathroom "They got a much prize with it…" 

            I went into the bathroom and closed the door. I just leaned against the door, tears coming out of my eyes. This was not suppose to happen while I was here…I could hear the men's voices.

            "She's hiding something…" Auron was the first to speak.

            "Yes…I agree…" Braska spoke slowly.

            "Why did she say 'they got a much better prize with it'" Jecht asked confused…

            The men must have been pondering because none of them said anything for a while. 

            "I can think of one thing…but I saw no sign that I know of to point to _that_…" Auron finally spoke…

            I gasped a little when he said it. I decided I have better stop listening and bathe. I stripped my clothing and looked in the mirror, I could tell now for sure. Red blood with white of their…oh it hurt to think about it. My chest hurt too. Each one of my breasts look bruised in a way. I shivered and tried to stop thinking about it. All I could was hope into the water, cleaning away the mess. 

            I stayed in that water for a long time, long after it was cold. I could only look at the ceiling and think about what they had done to me, how they probably do it. It wasn't till I heard a knock on the door did I realize where I was.

            I pulled my clothes back on and slowly opened the door: it was Braska. He came in and closed the door behind him. He looked at me with concern and seemed to realize I was not doing well.

            "Rikku. Are you okay?" he asked to me. I had been asked this so many times on my trip.

            "I'm fine…" I went to go pick up the towel on the ground and winced, falling to the floor.

            My pelvic bones were still driving me to the brink of insanity with pain. Braska knelt beside me and saw where I had placed my hand in pain, near the space between my legs. Tears kissed my eyes like mad as I tried fight the pain rushing in my veins.

            "What did that man do to you…" Braska seemed to look horrified with all the possibilities.

            I just looked away, refusing to look at him. Tears streaming down my face. Even though he was my uncle I couldn't tell. I shifted my body and bit my lip in pain, squinting my eyes shut.

            "Just please heal me…" I pleaded.

            "Where is the pain exactly? I need to know." Braska inquired.

            My eyes just opened wide, If he saw where the pain was coming from then he would know…I stood slowly in pain, with my back against the wall, not looking at him.

He stood as I did, waiting for me to answer.

            I just pointed to me pelvic area and it an instant I felt the pain had gone away almost entirely. What surprised me is he didn't ask me questions and started to leave.

            I was really hating this pilgrimage now…everything was going wrong. Worse was, I had even more secrets to hide from the men…

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eep. Sorry about that. It's just I needed some angst and all……anyway………Please R/R.


	5. How I Recieved A Kiss

Ok…I've had this somewhat idea in my head since 2nd chapter. Part of is off from what I intended because of my random spurt on chapter 4….I hope you guys don't kill me for that…..

Disclaimer: I'm taking Squaresoft's rights of Rikku and Auron on a walk….in hopes it will get lost when I take it off it's leash =D

How I Found You: Auron/Rikku Fic

Chapter Five: How I Received A Kiss

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            We only stayed in Luca for a short awhile and I felt like Auron's eyes were constantly on me. I was beginning to think I was going paranoid in a way, but I tried to tell myself it wasn't me. Auron had become distant to me once more. I always wanted to kick myself in the face and die when this happened. I usually beat myself up like this I admit but ever since my rape in Luca…it gave me even more reasons to beat myself up.

            What still surprised me was Braska not asking me about then again he seemed to read me pretty well. He only asked me the occasional 'are you okay?'. I was growing really tired of hearing that come from the men…I wasn't as fragile as I look…or was I? I always stumped myself at that question.

            However, we were now on our way to Djose, to the temple. Seeing Braska's Aeons was just as beautiful as Yuna's. I had always loved Yunie's Shiva. She was so gorgeous, blue; she reminded me a lot of Lulu. If Lulu became an Aeon, it would be Shiva…Lulu…I felt homesick again. I missed her so much. 

            Nightfall was reaching and we set up camp. This time, Jecht and I had to share a tent. Which I for some reason found to be very unusual, because I usually slept in the same tent as Braska unless he was exhausted. When he was exhausted he would just crash in the nearest one. This night however, Braska looked all perked.

            "Fro fedr Jecht?" [Why with Jecht?] I asked to Braska in Al Bhed.

            Jecht's head perked up when he heard his name. He looked confused.

            "Cu oui lyh cbaht desa fedr aylr udran." [So you can spend time with each other] He explained to me.

            "Ihlma!" [Uncle!] I protested.

            "Oui haat du kad ymuhk fedr res paadan." [You need to get along with him better] He explained further

            "Veha…" [Fine…] I gave up.

            "Why are you talking about me in your weird language?" Jecht asked me finally in the tent.

            "It has a name, it's called Al Bhed." I stated a bit offended. "Anyways, we were fighting over who was in what tent…" I said and laid down on my small makeshift bed.

            It was one of those things that bugged me on trips, "makeshift" beds. They were so painful, especially when you accidentally set up your tent over a somewhat uneven or bumpy area. That would be my case as of now. Very uncomfortable to the point I thought that sleeping on a cactuar would feel better.

            "So…it might not be my right to intrude…but what happened in Luca. Auron seems to think the worse I'm confused and Braska knows and won't say." Jecht spoke softly for once, I could have sworn he sounded serious.

            "I bet your getting information from me to give to Auron…" I muttered and rolled over, so I wasn't facing him.

            "Well, you don't have to be so mean to me you know…your worse then Auron…I mean, you came from the sea, like me. Infact, a day or two after me. I doubt you're from Zanarkand but I think we seem to understand each other in the sense we have been planted in a strange world. You can talk to me…I mean, as long as it's not guy problems." Jecht joked lightly.

            At this, I felt compelled to roll over and face him so I did. I guess in a way he did understand what I felt in a way, coming from another world. I just sighed and thought, I couldn't even tell Braska, he just figured it out then again it was rather obviously.

            "I awoke after being overpowered by the gang, pelvic bones hurting to no end, and…" I stuttered. I figured I save him the long story to get to my point quickly.

            "And? You kicked their asses right?" Jecht asked.

            "No…they weren't around. But my pelvic bones hurt so much it felt like they were broken. I assume they all had a go at me…or they tried to do more then one at a time…" by now tears were down my eyes and Jecht being Jecht, didn't get it.

            "Why are you crying? They didn't do you too much harm right?" he spoke confused.

            "You don't get it do you?!" I almost screamed now. Why did his stupidity have to torture me sometimes?

            "Rikku…what is so wrong that they beat you up and leave?" Jecht by now was shaking his head and rubbing it.

            "What did Auron assume…" I asked quietly now.

            "He said that you were awfully ashamed that you failed to get the stuff back which he said he doubted or that you were raped…I mean, come on rape? Your Rikku! You can get out of anything. Right?" Jecht spoke not seeing what damage those words did.

            "Jecht…why are you so stupid sometimes…" I spoke between choked sobs.

            "Why, what did I do now?" Jecht shot back.

            "I was raped you moron! So stuff that get out of anything image of me!" I cried and rolled over, shuttering.

            Braska should have known this would be a bad idea, and I was loathing him for doing this to me. It was silent for a long time but I could tell Jecht was awake still and 

Looking at me. His breathing was light and hoped he would realize what he had done. So it's my fault I can't live up to his stupid image? Me getting out of _that?_ Maybe I should have…wait, no, I was bound for crying out loud.

            "I'm sorry…" I finally heard the apology I was waiting for, two hours later.

            "It now just made sense in your head…" I spoke quietly but I believe the tone I put it in caused a pain or two in Jecht's feelings.

            "Look, I just didn't want to think it was that…I think it's horrible for that to happen in such a place as Spira…I mean, stepping on some one's foot isn't even taken lightly sometimes." Jecht spoke back trying to joke a little.

            A small smile came across my face but it faded quickly. It didn't change what had happened to me and rolled over again to see him the dark looking at me.

            "Well, what happened just proves I failed at protecting you." Jecht spoke softly.

            What Jecht said to me frightened me in more ways then one. Did this mean…he liked me? What about Tidus and his wife? Did he decide to protect me, as I wanted to protect Auron? These chilling thoughts sank into my spine along with the rest of my bones as I felt his lips on mine. 

            I was very shocked and he seemed to think that it was perfectly fine for him to kiss me. I didn't know what to do, he was still kissing my lips with a passion. I was panicking, he was a good kisser and all but this was the type of kiss I wanted to have with Auron, not Jecht, father of my friend Tidus. Tidus was almost like a brother to me. 

            I found the strength to push him away, however I didn't realize I did it as violently as I hadn't originally planed. He looked at me in the dark and must have seen the shock and horror on my face.

            "What am I doing…Please forgive me…It's too soon. In terms of our friendship and your _incident._" He spoke and started to leave.

            Right before he left, I saw footsteps heading away from our tent, off toward Braska's tent. It was Auron…he had seen Jecht kissing me. What would he think? 

            Damn that Jecht….maybe he planned the whole thing……I didn't have time to think as I pulled myself under the blankets to sleep…hoping it was a dream….

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erm…..how was that? Please R/R. Also I made understanding the Al Bhed easier by putting it in brackets after the dialogue. 

Ai,

~~Sakura Yosei


	6. How I Became Angry

Hello Again. =D I'm just a fast writer or I'm really obsessed with my story now. Lol.

Hope you liked my surprise in there…with the whole Jecht thing…also, I've been wondering. Does the title of each chapter reveal too much about what's going to happen? If so, I think I might be a bit more figurative. 

I'd also like you guys to know that it's um…2 in the morning right now, wait, no…4?! (Hasn't looked at clock in long time….) So, if there is anything weird in this, this is why.

Anyway…time for the annoying disclaimer: I plan on sneaking into the Squaresoft building to obtain their rights on Final Fantasy 10…anyone care to get me the blueprints for it? Hehe.

How I Found You: Rikku/Auron Fic

Chapter Six: How I Became Angry

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            I was still under the covers, recovering from the night before. Jecht had come in a short while after leaving, seeming angry. I got no sleep; I wanted him kissing me to be a bad dream. Why couldn't it be a dream? It wasn't long before I lost my train thought because somewhat had shaken me.

            I rolled over and came out from under the thin blankets to see Auron. He had a big frown on his face, and then walked out of the tent. It left me confused, why did he have to see Jecht and me? I groaned as I kicked the blankets off, sitting up. I really hated people who were too grumpy for their own good in the morning. Auron reminded me of this loathing feeling. 

            "What for breakfast?" I asked as I left the tent, perturbed. 

            I noticed that my tent was the only one up and Braska wasn't there.

            "Where is Braska?" I asked rubbing my head and looking at Auron with a what the hell look.

            "Oh. Braska? Jecht and Braska went ahead to the temple. They said we could follow and meet them there or we can go ahead and wait here or even wait near path to go to Macalania." He explained explained.

            It explained the frown alright, he was alone with me. What had happened to the concerned, considerate Auron? Why did men have to be so confusing? It drove me up the wall. 

            "Let me guess, you said, I needed more rest or something…." I spoke and slumped down onto a moss covered log.

            "Actually, Jecht suggested me and you stay behind and Braska agreed." Auron didn't seem to sound anymore happier then I did about it.

            Auron passed me some food on a plate and started to eat slowly, in hopes I would have a chance to talk to him…

            "Auron…if some one liked you in a way and you didn't like them the same way…or vice versa…how do you think one would handle the situation?" I asked quietly.

            "Depends on how discrete their feelings are. Why are you asking?" Auron mumbled. I guess he really didn't want to hear about these problems.

            "Well, he was very straight forward…it scared me…" I explained.

            "Are you referring to Jecht?" Auron asked.

            I didn't expect him to even ask, seeing he saw Jecht kiss me. I put more food in my mouth and then swallowed.

            "Yes…he kissed me last night…to be honest. He's not…" I started to explain and I saw Auron stand.

            "He's not as he seems?" Auron seem to ask quickly. 

            I saw Auron tense a bit, he was jealous, I could tell. I didn't know how but he was. He just seemed annoyed that Jecht had kissed me. Asking me questions quickly. I felt like a prisoner being interrogated. 

            "No…" I spoke back, staring into his back.

            "He's not young enough?" Auron shot.

            "No! Stop asking me things like that. He's not the one I like!" I shot back.

            At this, Auron turned to look at me. He seemed perplexed like he wasn't expecting me to say that.

            "You like Braska?" He inquired an eyebrow raised.

            "No! He's my Uncle!" I shot back, disgusted at the thought.

            Auron just seemed to smirk, he was enjoying this. He wanted me to say it, he needed reassurance.

            "Damn It Auron. You think this is easy on me. Do you just want me to admit it to you who I'm in love with? Do You?" I yelled, I hated it when he teased and tortured me.

            "You seem willing to…" Auron smirked.

            "Fine. You really want to know. It's You! Happy now? I said it, I'm in love with you. Laugh all you want!" I yelled and stomped off.

            However I didn't hear him laughing. So I turned around, he was looking at me with uncertainty. I just marched off to pack up the tent. 

            "You are mistaken Rikku…" I heard him mutter. 

            I didn't respond as I took down the tent and everything, packing up everything. I latched it onto my back, put out the fire and started to march off. Auron seemed surprised as my anger and just followed me. 

            I just wanted to get to the temple as soon as possible. I didn't want to put up with him by myself anymore for the time being. I was confused, really confused. 

            Why did he have to make things difficult now?

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Sorry this was too short of a chapter. Please R/R….


	7. How I Fell Asleep In Your Arms

I'm back again, with yet another chapter. I feel so happy with this story. Normally updating becomes slow after the fourth or fifth chapter with my other stories. Still need to finish Nightmares…A Vin/Yuff Fic. Wai! I love them as a couple but Rikku/Auron is still better.

Disclaimer: I accidentally spilt coffee on the paper, which has Squaresoft's rights of Rikku and Auron along with FFX on it. Damn, is that ink bleeding? Oops.

How I Found You: A Rikku/Auron Fic

Chapter Seven: How I Fell Asleep In Your Arms

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            I don't think I had ever thought so hard in my life. Then again, when you are waiting for Braska to gain another aeon you probably did reflect. That is what I had been doing while making sure Jecht was distant from me. He could tell I was uncomfortable and kept his distance, which I was thankful for.

            I was in front of the door, kneeling and waiting for Braska. Auron sat on the far left waiting and occasionally drinking from his jug. Jecht was way behind me, sleeping against some statues as I had done back in Kilika. 

            I could always tell Auron's eyes were on me, probably trying to burn holes into my skin. He knew I liked him because I told him obviously, but he seemed unsure whither to believe me or not. 

Damn that Jecht was all I could think; if he hadn't tried to be all close to me this wouldn't have happened. I felt reason to blame Braska too. He was the one who made us share a tent in the first place but I do know his intentions were good. 

The room was really quiet except for Jecht sleeping and the hymns being sung by the fayth. Lulu once said it was to calm Spira and its people however it made me more edgy.  It only made me want to leave this place as soon as possible so I could be in Macalania. 

Macalania is one of my favorite places in Spira aside from Home. It was so pretty, mysterious and tranquil. I knew that Braska would be getting Shiva from Macalania Temple soon also. That is what excited me in a way. However, it would be awhile. We had to go through the Guado's land, in Macalania and such. 

I sighed, I think about such random things; then again, it's the mind. Braska had been in there for over a day, I wish he would hurry. I was bored out of my mind and my stomach wasn't happy with me for being empty. My knees were aching now as well.

I know, I'm crazy. I've been kneeling for over a day in front of a door waiting. By now Auron was asleep and Jecht was bouncing his blitzball silently on the ground. I continued to look at the door, willing for Braska to come out.

"Your still there…haven't you budged at all?" I heard Jecht rasp, stretching.

"Yeah." Was all I said.

"You wanna lay-" Jecht started

"I'm fine." I interrupted a bit annoyed.

Jecht let out a sigh and I heard him walk over quietly, looking tired as I must have. He sat down next to me and gave out a yawn.

"You're mad at me for that kiss still." He stated.

Mad? I was infuriated! 

"You kissed me…now Auron hates me again, thanks a lot." I said quietly to not wake Auron up and looked away.

"You like Auron…" He seemed to be a little quiet after that.

            "I've been in love with him for a long time…I almost had him" I replied angrily.

            "Hey…you don't have to be all rude…" Jecht sounded hurt at this, "I understand…you're in love. It's frustrating. Anyway, you shouldn't worry. He's quite taken with you." Jecht shot back. 

            I saw him lay down next to my still kneeling form, looking at the ceiling. I had a doubt in that comment of Auron being "taken" with me. He seemed to hate me, all over one kiss. I still vowed to protect him and hope I could get closer to him. 

            "What do you mean taken?" I asked quietly, wincing as my knee popped.

            I looked back at him and saw he had fallen asleep once more. I swore in my head and looked at Auron, he was sleeping still. I stretched my legs out from beneath me without waking Jecht. I winced as I felt the blood rushing back into my veins. 

            I was tired…my mind exhausted from thinking, my body was exhausted from hunger and kneeling. I went over to Auron slowly, wincing as my legs threatened to collapse on me. I made it over to Auron and sat down next to him and placed my head on his shoulder gently. I closed my eyes slowly, my last sight being Auron's sleeping form. I knew I shouldn't but I decided to scoot a little closer to his body.

            I became frightened when his body shifted as I felt his arms go around my petite figure. When I opened my eyes slowly, I saw he was still asleep…or was he? I didn't want to know, but I know was in his embrace and my body curled up and pressed against his chest. I blushed as I felt his breath now against my face; his face was so close to mine. 

I closed my eyes slowly thinking maybe I could redeem myself. Meanwhile, I needed to sleep until Braska emerged from the Fayth. 

            When I awoke, I was still in Auron's embrace. I felt warm and took in his scent that once smelled back at the temple of Kilika. I slowly looked up and saw Auron was awake. Jecht was still sleeping on the ground where I had left him.

            "You're awake…" I spoke quietly.

            "Yes I am…and now that you are…I would appreciate you giving me some space." He spoke sternly.   

            "Oh…" I spoke back; I guess he could see the hurt in my eyes because he then stopped me.

            "Look, I'm Sorry Rikku. I would also like to apologize for my actions the other day on the way to the temple, they were…inappropriate…" He spoke slowly and then released his grip.

            I just sighed because at that moment. Braska emerged from the Fayth looking worn out.

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Wai! There it is. My 7th chapter. Aren't you proud? Hehe. Please R/R. I love you guys.

Ai,

~~Sakura Yosei


	8. How I Saw Feelings Come Unbound

First off, I have some thanks to give out. ::hands out Jecht, Rikku, Auron and Braska plushies to the following people::

Rinny Leonheart / Rikku – Thanks a lot for responding to my chapter first. Wai! ::hugs and you Auron plushie:: you were most helpful.

Sweet Cherry Kisses – Thanks for helping as well. Also I would like to thank you for emailing me it as well. ::hugs and you a Jecht plushie::

Kari-Demon – although a little brief, thank you for responding. ::hugs and gives you Braska plushie::

I have one more plushie left…ah yes, I would never forget her. Wai! 

Sarah – Thank you a lot! I was happy you even gave me a link of AIM. Thank you a lot and it helped quite a bit. ::gives you a Rikku Plushie and Hug::

Ok. Now that thanks are done with….I now need to continue to the story…I've also been wondering if after I write this I use the earlier chapters and have an alternate ending  with it being Jekku? After Sweet Cherry Kisses brought this up I've been wondering….

AHH! Need to get to story already, been slacking enough as it is.

Disclaimer: I got Squaresoft drunk…and made them sign over their rights….oh wait….it was a dream. Damn. But not a bad idea…

How I Found You: Rikku/Auron Fic

Chapter Eight: How I Saw Feelings Come Unbound

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            I felt a little awkward after the small incident between Auron and me at Djose temple. Annoying thing was, I had a lot of time to think about it on our way to the Moonflow. I sighed; it brought back a lot of memories…like when I first met Auron.

We approached the area for the Shoupuff and to my dismay, found out we had to wait for it to come back from the Southern half.

            Jecht went off to drink and Braska went with Auron to wait somewhere else. Having nothing better to do, I went to find Jecht. Didn't take long really, he was perched on a stool drinking to his heart content. I just sighed and sat down next to him waiting for him to talk.

            "Hey Rikku…" he slurred a bit.

            "Hi Jecht…" I muttered

            "Hey lady…get my friend here a drink. On the rocks, what I have." Jecht yelled rudely to the waitress.

            "Jecht!" I yelled at him, being rude to a woman.

            "Here's your drink miss" The woman said politely.

            "Thank you and sorry for his behavior. He's always like this when he's drunk." I explained, embarrassed.

            She just nodded in understanding and walked off. I realized I would be at that bar for quite a while, mainly because of Jecht. Before I knew it, I had about five or six glasses of whatever Jecht was having. I felt light headed and knew I was drunk. I was more angry at myself for letting myself do this to me. 

            Then again every time I stared into the liquid showing my reflection I felt heartbroken, seeing Auron's face in it. I of course thought, I should take the liquid down in hopes I wouldn't see his image in it anymore, but it kept coming back with each glass. Maybe this is why Jecht drank so much…

            "So Rikku…did you know that Auron talks about you a lot behind your back?" Jecht asked.

            "What do you mean…" I said a bit upset at his comment.

            "He's just talking about you like you're some fayth on a pedestal when you're not around. It's like he's so taken with you…" Jecht explained and demanded more alcohol.

            "Your lying Jecht…" I spoke slowly and swallowed down more of the liquid, seeing Auron's face in it once more.

            "I'm not…He's mad at Yevon for bringing you he said…because he's a monk of Yevon…" He didn't need to finish he sentence because by the time he was that far, I stood, more like wobbling and ran off. 

            Jecht needed to make up his mind or stop telling me lies, I didn't know which. I should have known that Auron thought of me as a burden because it did make sense. My head hurt from running so collapsed onto my knees near the Moonflow, head spinning.

            "Rikku?" I heard the monk himself.

            "What Auron…" I managed to say.

            "You don't look good…" He said concerned.

            When he stepped closer he quickly took a step back, waving his hand by his nose.

He probably smelled the alcohol on me…probably ashamed I was drinking.

            "Are you drunk?" he asked when I didn't respond.

            All I could do was nod and he knelt down by me, looking me over in concern.

            "Jecht was drinking and I decided to talk to him, before I knew I felt depressed and I had drank about how much Jecht does on a sober day." I spoke.

            "Let me take you to Braska…so he can help…" He said and started to pull me up.

            "No…it's my own fault for drowning myself in self-pity by alcohol…I should have known self-pity knows how to swim…" I spoke.

            I heard Auron let out a small chuckle and looked up at him in confusion. What was so funny?

            "You should tell Jecht that…" he smirked.

            I think at that moment, Auron was acting like Jecht. It was rather mean of him I think. I stood with much difficulty and as I did. I heard Jecht yelling.

            "You evil fiend. Stay away, I'll kill you!" he yelled.

            Auron ran over to him and I tried to follow, Jecht had attacked the Shoupuff. I reached the two when Braska got there, neither of us looking pleased with Jecht. The Shoupuff had a big cut on its back leg. The creature was letting out loud noises of pain as the Shoupuff driver yelled at Jecht. 

            "I want you to pay for the money it will cost to fix it!" The driver demanded.

            Braska reached into his pocket and pulled out a big sun of money to the driver. I'll admit, I've never seen Braska look so angry. With that money gone, we had to earn more money to ride the Shoupuff and then wait for it to be healed. 

            None of us spoke to Jecht for a while because we were angry and Jecht vowed not to drink. As temptation, Braska put a tankard of alcohol in front of Jecht, he knocked it the floor and Braska stood and left with satisfaction. 

            We it came time to sleep, Braska this time said he needed "to keep an eye on Jecht" so Auron and I needed to share a tent. I didn't argue, it was my chance to be alone with him but wither it would go good or bad had me nervous. 

            I set up my bedroll and laid on it, my head hurting. I could help but let out a silent cry and grasp my head lightly with my left hand. I guess Auron must have heard me, because I felt him place a small canteen of water in my hand. I opened it slowly and drank out of it until was empty. I sat it down next to me and I felt Auron lay down on his bedroll next to mine. I'd must admit, the tent did seem smaller, maybe it was my mind? I didn't know but I realized I must have been nervous if I was thinking about stuff like that.

            "He's mad at Yevon for bringing you here…" What Jecht had said ringed in my ears and it felt a lot worse then my headache. I rolled over so my back was to Auron and let a few tears slip. I sniffled a little and felt a callused hand on my shoulder. 

            "Rikku…" he spoke softly and rolled me over to face him.

            I didn't respond but just hugged him fiercely; I would have been surprised if he had room to breathe. He seemed a little shocked and placed his arms around me.

            "It hurts so much…" I cried softly.

            "In the morning you will feel better…" he spoke back.

            "Not my head…my heart…" I whispered.

            "Why?" He asked confused.

            "I'm so confused…one minute you're the perfect gentleman, the next you're a piece of stone and then Jecht with his non subtle advances…" I cried out my heart was confused.

            "What did Jecht say…" Auron seemed to pick up quickly that something between Jecht and me had happened.

            "He said you were taken with me…" I spoke slowly.

            "I admit I feel compelled by you for some reason…" Auron replied.

            "But that's…I'm just some obligation to you…Jecht was right…" I cried harder against him.

            "What else did Jecht say?" He asked, I sensed panic in his voice but it was quickly masked.

            "He said you were mad at Yevon for sending me your way." I broke away from Auron's grip and looked down at my hands, which were on my knees.

            "It is somewhat truth but not in the way your thinking…" He spoke.

            I couldn't take it anymore. I broke down, I was angry, frustrated, heartbroken, confused.

            "It's true?!" I just screamed and stood to leave and felt myself pulled all the way down, so I was lying down.

            "Rikku! Just let me finish! You think it's easy being a monk of Yevon? When you are sworn to a life to Yevon only, nothing else? Then suddenly some one appears in your life, who tries to bring out the better in you and is wonderful and you can't get close to them no matter how much you want to?" Auron spoke, frustrated himself.

            I was too shocked to blink, was he confessing that he liked me as I did him? A tear or two still slid down my face, the only thing not affected by this stop of time I felt. I suddenly became aware of my position, being held down to the bedroll by him and blushed a bit. My heart was jumping and ached at the same time as I felt his lips against mine.

            I slowly felt his grip on me ease and I put my arms around his neck, feeling his body push somewhat against mine. It was bliss to me yet I wondered if it would end. His mouth tasted of his faint alcohol consumption and a few spices. It was more of a drug then his scent; it was driving me to the brink of insanity. I didn't want it to stop at all. When his lips did leave mine, I was breathing heavily, I was able to breath finally, but if I could have more of his drug, I would have gladly suffocated. 

            He looked at me and seemed to be shocked by the affect the kiss had on me, I could tell his mind was wondering. I reached up to pull him down toward me, however this time he resisted. I looked at him confused and he stood.

            "I'm sorry…" Auron spoke softly and left. 

            I felt confused, what had come over him? I laid back down on the bedroll and heard him mutter outside, "Forgive Me Yevon…" Yevon…I never believed in Yevon but I was beginning to hate him. Not only for crushing Yunie's beliefs, me not believing and Wakka trying to cram it down my throat, I had a new one to add to the list of why I hated Yevon. Auron was dedicated to him like there was no tomorrow and that meant I couldn't be with him.

            "Rikku…" I heard some one call my name.

            I stood slowly and saw it was Jecht outside. I looked at him funny and he beckoned me to follow him toward the shores of the Moonflow. When I reached where he was he looked at me with sincerity.

            "He doesn't love you like I could…" he spoke still slightly drunk

            "Jecht…you know my feelings for Auron…There aren't changing anytime soon." 

I explained.

            "I know but it hurts me to see you get brushed aside by him!" he yelled and I quickly looked around to make sure no one had heard.

            "He has his reasons…" I spoke and felt tears come down my cheeks. I didn't have to go through this…

            "Reasons?! What his stupid Yevon? If he loved you he wouldn't worry about religion!" Jecht yelled, getting angry again.

            I never took being yelled at well, so of course more tears were falling when he said this, he did have a point but I didn't want to accept it.

            "He will love me! If he really doesn't I'll just go back to my time where he's dead!" I yelled back.

            "I love you…" Jecht spoke softly once more, trying to control his anger. 

            "You have a son and wife…" I looked away, "besides…I don't feel for you in that way." 

            "They are dead now! I can't go back home!" He yelled again.

            "Just because their dead doesn't mean you can dump them aside. If I did that with Auron in the future I wouldn't have really loved him!" I screamed, it hurt so badly.

            Jecht seemed speechless, making connecting pieces of the puzzle in his head about Auron and I. I had gone speechless as well, my throat hurt from yelling and I was just becoming overwhelmed. 

            "Rikku…I love you…I just don't want to see you hurt." Jecht spoke walking toward me.

            "Don't love me…You'll get hurt.." I turned my back to him.

            I felt him wrap his arms around my chest, holding me to him. 

            "Please remove your arms…" I spoke quietly.

            "No…doing that would be foolish." He replied.

            "You holding me like this is foolish. You loving me is foolish!" I broke from him and yelled at him.

            "Fine…I'm a fool then…laugh…it doesn't change my feelings. You however, loving Auron is foolish and your not suppose to be the fool…" Jecht spoke, looking hurt.

            My vision went blurry at the moment and I couldn't see his face clearly. I lost my sense of perception and I stumbled backwards, the forwards when Jecht came closer, concerned. I finally felt my legs give out, and I fell forward, fainting. 

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::holding a FFX-2 version of Rikku Plushie:: here you guys go for reading my story. Please R/R and thanks again. See you guys soon.

Ai,

~~Sakura Yosei


	9. How I Felt Alone

I'm back already guys! Wai. I'm loving my story but at the same time I fear the more I write the worse I get. Anyway…off to write this chapter, warning: it's 3 in the morning right now… ¬_¬ I'm a rather scary person in the early morning, esp. with my writing.

Not to mention I'm listening to Unstoppable by The Calling. So unlike me.

Also, this song reminds me of Rikku and Auron. It's from Silent Hill 3.

Blue sky to forever, 

The green grass blows in the wind, dancing 

It would be much better a sight with you, with me,

If you hadn't met me, I'd be fine on my own, baby,

I never felt so lonely, then you came along,

So now what should I do, I'm strung out, addicted to you,

My body it aches, now that you're gone, 

My supply fell through,

You gladly gave me everything you had and more,

You craved my happiness,

When you make me feel joy it makes you smile,

But now I feel your stress,

Love was never meant to be such a crazy affair, no

And who has time for tears,

Never thought I'd sit around and cry for your love,

'till now.

--You're not here by Akira Yamaoka 

Disclaimer: Hm…Well, I made the Shoupuff eat the papers for Squaresoft's rights. Hehe. ::evil grin:: I own Rikku and Auron now! ::police shows up:: damn. Stupid Shoupuff…

How I Found You: A Rikku/Auron Fic.

Chapter Nine: How I Felt Alone

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            I awoke slowly, wondering where I was. When I looked around I saw it was my tent. A small trace of light was shining on my chest, coming from a small hole between the two tent flaps. I was the only person in the tent, no trace of Auron. 

            I crawled to the tent flaps and heard males' voices; they belonged to Auron and Jecht. They seemed to be having an argument about something. I put my ear closer to the hole in the flaps and realized what was happening. They were arguing about me.

            "What did you do to her?" Auron growled.

            "I was talking to her and she fainted. Probably from drinking too much." Jecht explained, rubbing his head.

            "You should have not let her have Alcohol in the first place." Auron growled further. 

            "Look, I know you're in love with her…" Jecht started and was pushed to the ground by Auron.

            "Why should I love her when she runs off to _you_ every time I don't return her feelings?" Auron roared.

            "You think she comes running to me? Your nuts. She's Hurting deep down inside because of you. If you want to be mad, me mad at me. I'm the one trying to make her not love you." Jecht explained calmly.

            "Explain." Auron spoke sternly and place his Mitsune to Jecht's throat.

            "She's been heartbroken about you, why do you think she got drunk? Also, you have no idea what happened in Luca, I do! I've seen her, when she's by herself thinking, she looks alone, sad, unworthy for you. You don't care for her like I do! I've tried to show her that trying to get you to love her is useless but she won't listen. She's probably mad at me for last night and the time I kissed her." Jecht yelled and stood. 

            I saw Auron's eyes widen a bit at that, because what Jecht spoke was the truth. Also I felt mad because now I knew when I thought I was truly alone with my thoughts I wasn't. Auron's face quickly tensed and before I could register what had happened, Auron was on top of Jecht, they were fighting. I panicked; I didn't want either of them to get hurt. I ran out of tent over to them, trying to pull Jecht off Auron.

            The only response I got was a big hit to the stomach by Jecht who didn't realized what he had done. I stumbled backwards and onto the ground, my stomach crying in pain. Auron quickly shoved Jecht off of him and ran over to me.

            It felt like my stomach wanted to heave and I couldn't breathe. All I could see was Auron kneeling above me, worried. It felt like I had the wind knocked out of me

            "Jecht!" Auron growled seeing me in pain.

            Jecht was still in shock not wanting to come near us. I breathed heavily, and sat up with the help of Auron. He had a big cut on his cheek, which I slowly touched. He winced and batted my hand away. 

            "You're hurt…" I managed to say, speaking was difficult.

            "Never mind about me." He spoke.

            At this point, Braska came out of his tent to see us in disarray. He marched over to us, not looking very happy.

            "What in the name of Yevon happened…" He seemed shocked.

            I stood with difficulty and limped over to Braska. I gave him a hug and then I whispered, "Ed'c so vyimd Ihlma...E's Cunno. E'mm mayja. Ed'c paddan drec fyo" [It's My Fault Uncle...I'm Sorry. I'll leave. It's better this way] I whispered.

            I started to run to my tent to grab my weapons and grenades before he could respond.

            "Rikku!" Braska yelled.

            I was already heading out of my tent with my stuff when Auron realized what was happening. I started to run into the woods by the Moonflow as he chased me. Luckily I was faster and quickly climbed a tree so he couldn't see me. He continued to look for me, it was heartbreaking but I knew it was better. I was causing more problems for the group then helping. 

            "Rikku!" he yelled over and over. 

            At first it was just looking for me, then he voice became angry and then to desperation. It hurt and I couldn't take it anymore. I slipped down the tree carefully without making a noise and headed to the Moonflow's shore. Luckily, the tide was low and Auron had gone into the opposite direction. I slid the goggles that were around my neck onto my eyes and dove into the water, swimming to the other side would be a challenge but I was a pretty good swimmer. I made sure to swim pretty far below the surface of the water so they couldn't see me moving.

            About an hour later I had reached the Southern half of the Moonflow, gasping for breath. That was the longest I had such a long swim ever. I wasn't able to come up for air that much because the Shoupuff had started going across the waters and I knew that Braska might be on that Shoupuff. 

            I just heaved myself slowly out of the water, onto the shore. I breathed heavily, I looked blue I was sure. I just slowly marched off. An hour later I was in what looked like Guadosalam. The Guado greeted me with curiosity as I entered. 

            I just slinked over to the inn and worked for them for a while to earn a night's boarding. I hurt all over by the time I went to bed but the Guado were happy I held up my end of the bargain without complaining. The instant I got into my bed I fell asleep and awoke up very early. 

            My body complained a whole lot from yesterday's "exercise" as I got out of bed. I pulled my clothes back on and strapped my Godhand to my arm and my other equipment.  I just sighed as I wrote a note of thanks to the owners of the inn and headed off toward my next destination, the Thunder Plains. I wasn't very happy to be going through this area of Spira. I hated lightening ever since I was child, mainly because my brother struck me with it by accident when he meant to hit something else. Ever since I've been scared of it. 

            So I sighed and headed down the road to the Thunder Plains, trying to take big wide steps. However, I was limping a bit and my body demanded me to rest. When I reached the entrance to the Thunder Plains I sighed again, trying to gain confidence. So just to get it over with, I ran, I ran as fast as I could. It wasn't long before I was struck by lightening. The painful feeling went through my body and I screamed. I fell to the ground and quickly stood heading toward the lightening tower, I was struck again and I fell once more to the ground.

            I never felt so miserable in my life, I shouldn't have run off. To make matters worse, I saw fiends. I just attacked with no mercy at them, they weren't powerful fiends but I was angry. I reached the lightening tower I sighed, I wish it would stop being like this for just a minute…

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Muah! That's my ninth chapter. Thanks for making it beautiful by Reviewing. Please continue to read and review and I'll be back soon :-D


	10. How I Became Yours

Back again; I didn't realize last chapter was so short. Gomen Nasai! ::bows:: ::hands out more plushies of different garnet classes of Rikku:: 

Disclaimer: I uh…thought the Squaresoft rights of Rikku and Auron were fiends, and decided to capture it for the arena in the Calm Lands. Sorry. ^_^˘ 

Also, I would like to warn people: There is LEMON!!!! So deal. I know Sweet Cherry Kisses won't mind. Lol.

How I Found You: A Rikku/Auron Fic

Chapter Ten: How I Became Yours

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            When I awoke, I was still under the lightening tower. However, I didn't awake on my own, I awoke to fiend attacking me. So you can imagine I was pretty startled and felt ashamed of myself for letting it happen. In a matter of seconds it was dead and I stood, to continue my journey, to where, I didn't know. 

            I trekked off toward the other end of the Thunder Plains, trying to stay near the towers. It shocked me to see there were hardly any fiends I ran into, no puns intended. 

However when I saw the Iron Giant, it worried me, a lot. Luckily it hadn't seen me yet, but I noticed a group of men had. They didn't look friendly at all, infact, when they got closer to me I saw exactly who they were…the men from Luca.

            "Well well…look who it is boss." One stated.

            I brought my targe up to guard myself as they approached further. 

            "Ah yes…the Al Bhed from Luca…we…enjoyed your company." The man called "boss" stated.

            "Well, I didn't quite enjoy yours…" I spat back.

            "Boys…maybe we should enjoy her again?" boss stated.

            They all made nasty growls of lust and then came at me, I quickly dodged and before I knew what I was doing, I was climbing the lightening tower. I grabbed a grenade and threw it down at them, causing them to scatter. I noticed two were down and three more to go. 

            "Cred!" [Shit!] I muttered as I saw the Iron Giant coming toward us. 

            If I stayed where I was, the giant would get me, if I were on the ground, the men and the giant would attack me. I was known to be a daredevil when I was a child, so felt

Like living up to my name. I pulled out two grenades and unpinned them, throwing them to the ground right by the tower. The explosion caused the tower to collapse, and it felt it land on the giant, killing it. I jumped off with difficulty and saw I killed the two men; the boss was the only one remaining. 

            He lunged at me when I least expected it, knocking me to the ground. I struggled beneath his heavy weight, trying to breath. He was about to stab me when I tried to stab back. I saw him gurgle and blood come out of his mouth, dying. I breathed and then felt his body lifted off of me. I looked up to see Auron, looking at me with concern. He pulled his sword out of the bosses' back and I saw that he was the one who killed him. 

            I slowly stood with Auron's help, wincing as my arm hurt. He examined it carefully and murmered words I couldn't understand here and there.

            "It's fractured…you must have fell pretty badly to have done this…" He explained.

            "The tower…" I said and pointed with my good arm.

            I saw his eyebrow raised a bit and he seemed skeptical, "It fell on your arm and only fractured it?" 

            "No! I fell off of it when I decided to crash it into the Iron Giant." I explained.

            Auron healed it quickly and then was about to talk to me when I heard movement near the tower. 

            "I'll check It out." I spoke.

            I ran over to the fallen tower and saw one of the men I thought had killed alive. The instant he saw me he face turned nasty. I then saw Auron was behind me.

            "You dirty little chit, you may have gotten away this time, but the next time my group sees you they will know you've been marked, I'm dying…but some man will enjoy you in my place just like I enjoyed you in Luca…" he muttered and coughed up blood, dying.

            Auron just seemed to look at the dead man and me, probably because by then I was crying. I really didn't want Auron to know. However, I knew he was smart he wouldn't be blind to what the man had said.

            "Ri-…." He started.

            "No! I don't want to talk about it. Never! It never happened!" I screamed, clasping my hands over my ears.

            "Rikku…you need to talk about it or else the wound will never heal…" He spoke.

            "What is there to talk about Auron?! I was raped; It will never heal the fact that my virginity was stolen by some thugs! When I wanted to give it to _some one_ special…" 

I yelled.

            "Rikku…don't say that…" Auron replied calmly, he probably didn't like that I said I wanted to give it to some one special.

            I started to walk toward the inn I saw and then saw Auron step in front of me. I tried to walk past and barred it from me.

            "Auron! Just please, get out of my presence. It just makes me feel even more unclean!" I cried.

            I managed to run past him to the inn, I really didn't need this at the moment. I cried the whole way there, just wanting to be away from him. Where were Jecht and Braska anyway? Ahead of us? Behind us? I didn't have time to think as I opened the door to the inn.

            "One room please…" I said quickly and placed the money on the desk.

            "Enjoy your stay." The receptionist spoke.

            I just marched into the room, and started to unbuckle my weapons and equipment. I just let I drop to the floor, then taking the goggles off from around my neck. Next came my shoes and socks. I sighed as I pulled my shirt and the rest of my clothing off. Lastly, I took down my hair, letting it fall to my shoulders.

            It was a nasty habit of mine ever since Luca for me to bath constantly. Some people would think I just was a very clean person but they didn't know the true reason: I constantly felt dirty. I walked into the bathroom to bath in warm water, more like scolding hot.

            The instant my skin burned, I felt like I was one step closer of the many to being clean. I lounged in the water for about half and hour, letting my skin feel the heat of the water. As I stepped out of the water, I saw steam coming off my skin, I was somewhat satisfied. 

            However when I stepped back into my bedroom I wasn't satisfied. Auron was lying on the only bed in there, noting but pants on. I blushed a bit, because he looked like he was sleeping, but I was in a towel, so regardless, I felt nervous. I made the mistake of hitting my targe with my foot, wincing at the sound it make.

            Auron shifted and opened his eyes, seeing me almost immediately; all I could was blush and head toward the bathroom again.

            "Rikku…" he spoke clearly.

            I felt compelled to stop in my tracks so I did, keeping my back to him. I heard him shift more on the bed and then it was silent. Right as I was about to move again, I felt his hands on my shoulder, causing me to jump a bit.

            "Rikku…I've made a decision…" he spoke softly into my ear.

            "A decision?" I asked confused.

            I slowly turned to face him and I could have sworn I saw almost somewhat relief and content on his face. What had he made a decision on? It had me baffled.

            "Yes…I talked with Braska and Jecht about it and they will not hold it against me...I've decided to stop…being a monk of Yevon…" he responded slowly.

            I was confused; he was giving up on being a monk in a blink of an eye? It didn't sound like the Auron I knew, and what about the whole I can't love you because of Yevon…unless, he made perfect sense now. He decided to stop being a monk for me…I was happy yet sad. It felt almost like now that I had him I didn't want him, because I felt like I was too soiled. A small frown came to my face.

            "I…thought you would be happy…" Auron spoke confused, a frown forming.

            "No…I'm happy, it's just…" I looked down at myself; I could feel the dirt coming back onto my skin. 

            "You look clean to me…" Auron replied, touching my face with his hand.

            Those five words ringed in my ears about a thousand times before they set in, he didn't care that I was dirty? Tears came to my eyes, I didn't think he would want me at all and now he was practically begging. I never realized love had such a power over people, to change them.

            His lips came to mine, letting me taste more of his drug. Before I knew what was happening, I was on the bed with him, however there was no use of stopping. I never wanted it to stop and Auron didn't want it to either. Our lips kept meeting and then his lips met my cheek, heading downwards. 

            I couldn't help but let my fingers run through his hair, as I felt it spill out of its braid onto his shoulders. I never realized how much Auron looked good with his hair down but I didn't have much time to ponder about it as I felt great pleasure run through my body. 

            I felt his hands slid down to my mid arms, as he kissed more of my neckline. I never felt more loved in my life. I didn't even mind anymore that I was only in a towel; it was only going to get in the way. Almost on que, Auron tugged the silly thin fabric off from around of my body, taking in what he saw. His hands slid across my chest, taking in the new areas. I felt his calm breath in my ear, whispering to me.

            "Your beautiful Rikku…Inside and out…" he spoke softly and then nibbled on my ear. 

            I just let out a sigh of relief and pleasure. If I had to say what night was the best of my life, it would be this night. I felt Auron's warmth leave me momentarily, but the come back, except a whole lot warmer.

            I couldn't help but let out a gasp when I felt our flesh melding [Erm…by this I mean, he's now naked on top of her…he's not "in" her yet…don't know why I put this note here…] , we were truly flesh to flesh with no fabric in the way. I was breathing heavily already, and I felt us becoming one. 

            It was a wonderful feeling and he treated me with the utmost gentleness and love. I kissed him further, exploring his mouth as I felt myself reach my peak. It was bliss, if Yevon had his own type of heaven that wasn't the farplane I felt like I was there. But since I didn't believe in Yevon I would have to replace it with the idea of a paradise created just for Auron and me.

            I felt exhausted and I could feel Auron breathing heavily against me. He pulled himself off of me and laid down beside me, holding me to him. Our hair were entangled in each others as he murmured many things into my ear last one being, "E muja oui…" [I love you…] I didn't know till now that he understood and spoke AL Bhed, but all of that was put aside as I fell asleep peacefully in his embrace, ignoring the loud sounds from the outside thunderstorm. 

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::hides under desk supporting laptop:: can I come out now? Umm…not only did the thunder in that story scare me but the fact that I came out with a maybe somewhat decent Lemon….R/R? Pwease? 

::hands out more plushies:: 


	11. How I Betrayed You

I decided to make this a well, somewhat Jekku….You'll see why but I'm glad you guys like my lemon…can it really be called that? It wasn't even that much detail. 

Also, I'm sorry for not updating in a looong time. I've been sick; diagnosed with severe Anemia and a whole lot more. Anyway, on with the story! You should also check out The Untold Stories by yours truly, under my other new name: Rikku/Auron. Some of my VERY best friends read my fanfiction and I didn't want them to see it…ANYWAY

Anyway…..

Disclaimer: Ha. I found the sphere with Squaresoft's rights on it! Wait….it's Braska's sphere. Damn it! ::kicks sphere::

How I Found You: A Rikku/Auron Fic

Chapter Eleven: How I Betrayed You

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            I couldn't help but wake to see a kind smile, however it wasn't Auron's to my dismay, it was Uncle. I never jumped so high in the air. I noticed that Auron was not in the room and nor was Jecht. I was relived for that factor of Jecht not being in here because I was still clad under the sheets.

            "Where's Auron?" I asked sleepily.

            "He's preparing our equipment so we can go to Macalania. I came to wake you, with Auron's consent of course." He seemed to smirk at that.

            I just blushed as I sat up, holding the sheet to me. The night's previous events came into my head, causing my blush to rise even farther.

            "I talked to Jecht and Auron after you left…I was worried. So I let Auron go ahead. Besides, a fellow monk, a friend of Auron lives near the Thunder Plains." He explained further.

            "Auron is no longer a monk of Yevon…" I spoke, softly. 

            I was quite content; in fact, the words were music in my ears.

            "Why…" He pondered and then I could tell he understood.

            He just seemed to give a nod and a small smile came to his face.

            "Your not mad?" I asked, looking at him in the eyes.

            "No. Whatever makes him happy, and I can see what makes him happy. It's you. Before you came, he was a serious, sometimes sarcastic man, with no intention of leaving monk hood. You however, opened up a side I had never seen before…" Braska looked really happy at this change.

            "Love has the power to change…" I spoke.

            Braska nodded and placed a box on my lap. It was about the length of my lower arm and the width of my shoulders. I just looked at him confused and he walked out the room. I slowly opened the box and saw a whole new outfit. He must have seen how beat up my old one was. 

            The shorts where a pair of khaki shorts and a new orange shirt. However, it was shorter and didn't have sleeves. I flipped it over to see it was done up in the back (its kinda like a halter top). I pulled the covers off of my body and started to get dressed.

I then looked at myself in the big mirror on the wall; I had a hard time telling it was I in the reflection. Lastly, for a little change, I decided to keep my hair down, to add a small touch. 

            I rummaged around the room in a hurry to find my weapon and items. I knew I left them on the floor last night however they weren't there anymore. I stomped my foot in frustration, I had no idea where they would be.

            "Looking for this?" I heard Auron speak.

            "So you have my stuff." I gave a mock glare.

            "And I suppose you are ready now?" Auron asked, eyebrow rising.

            "Not until I have my Godhand and Targe…" I poked.

            He chuckled a bit and handed me my Targe, which I strapped on first, then my item pack soon followed by my Godhand. I check one more time in the mirror to make sure nothing was missing and then headed for the door. 

            I blushed as Auron gave me a soft kiss on the cheek and we then headed out. Braska and Jecht were there, waiting. Jecht looked rather impatient and Braska seemed content. We all grabbed our packed items and started off toward the road of Macalania. 

I walked beside Auron, talking a lot about different things involving maesters. 

            I then caught out of the corner of my eye, Jecht lagging behind, looking rather down. I rarely ever saw Jecht sad, when I did, he was drunk. So believe me, seeing a depressed and sober Jecht made me worried. 

            "I'm going to go check on Jecht…" I whispered to Auron and he nodded back in approval. 

            I ran back to where Jecht was. He was slowly walking, looking at the ground. I needed to know why he was like this. At this rate, he would be hit by lightening, because we were near the end of the plains. As if the miserable plains had heard me, I saw lightening strike near Jecht. He paid no heed and continued as I continued to run toward him. I noticed the clouds were brewing above Jecht, signaling more lightening.

            "Jecht! Look out!" I yelled and he still didn't listen.

            I ran faster until I was in range of him. I quickly ran and pushed him out of the way as the lightening came down, I felt it strike me, bringing back painful childhood memories. My body responded by quivering and bleeding as pain flowed through my veins. I collapsed onto Jecht's shaken body, heaving and panting.

            "Rikku! Rikku! Are you okay?!" I felt him shake me but I couldn't bring myself to talk.

            I had never seen him from this up close except for the time he kissed me. I felt confused, why was he now looking somewhat attractive to me? It had to have been the lightening, it must be. 

            "Rikku! Damn it! Look at me!" I didn't understand why he was demanded this. I was looking at him was I not?

            "Jecht…Pa Lynavom…" [Be Careful…] I spoke slowly, seeing his eyes wide with concern.

            "Speak so I can understand you…you know I can speak that language of yours…" He said seeming to be more relieved.

            "It's Al Bhed…" I said giving him a glare.

            "Al Bhed…Al Smhed." He said back mockingly.

            I saw him reach into his pouch and pull out a blue vile. I knew exactly was it was to my dismay. I hated how they tasted. I took the potion however and swallowed it down to the last drop and saw my wounds, closing up. I look up to the sky and saw the clouds brewing again.  

            I quickly stood to get off of Jecht and motioned for Jecht to get up. He seemed confused and pointed to the sky quickly. 

            "How should I repay you?" Jecht asked.

            "You don't need to." I spoke quickly.

            I heard the sky rumbling and before I knew what had happened, Jecht was now on top of me. I seemed rather dazed and then he shot me a grin. He pointed to where I was previous; the ground now had a dent in it and smoke arising from it. I nodded to him that I was grateful, but he wouldn't let me back up.

            "Jecht. Auron and Braska are waiting for us." I spoke.

            "I need to repay you." Jecht said eagerly.

            "You just did." I cried out frustrated. His body weight was beginning to kill me.

            "No…I just wanted one thing so we would be even." He replied slyly.

            When Jecht had a sly look on his face I knew he was up to something. This also usually meant he had something up his sleeve, something you wouldn't expect, and this had me worried. 

            "What it is." I spoke angrily now. I had little patience.

            "A kiss. Not a one-sided kiss either." He spoke, he sounded dead serious.

            "Jecht! We are in a middle of the Thunder Plains. We can be hit any minute." I yelled.

            "But I'm shielding your body. You can either kiss me or I can be struck b lightening." Now I was pissed. Him talking like I was hostage or something.

            As much as I despised doing it, I quickly forced my lips onto his, bringing his head down closer to mine. He seemed to enjoy the reaction he had gotten from me, because he kissed me fiercely. What caught me off guard was that I was actually starting to like it; I didn't want it to end. Pretty soon, our tongues were in a duel. Wrapping around each other, fighting. We weren't able to keep up much longer as lightening struck near us. 

            Jecht seemed as startled as I was and pulled his lips away from mine. I was breathing heavily, and quickly shoved Jecht off of me. I couldn't believe what I had done. Not to mention we I started walking toward were Auron and Braska would be, I saw him looking at me. He was glaring, and quickly marched off. What had I done? Was all I could think.

            "Rikku. Wait up!" Jecht yelled.

            I didn't why he had yelled it, seeing, I wasn't walking anymore. I was too upset to say anything. He caught up to me. The instant he saw the expression on my face, he realized what had happened. He reached out for me but I pulled away.

            All I could was run toward the group, knowing Auron would be less then happy. The whole while Jecht was yelling at me to stop, and calm down. Auron saw me run past them, and I felt him glaring into my back as I ran.

            "Rikku!! Wait!! I shouldn't have done it!" Jecht yelled catching up to Auron and Braska.

            Auron looked at Jecht with a glare, and Jecht quickly looked away. Running ahead after me. It was my fault for deciding to look back as I ran, because I tripped on a tree root at the entrance to Macalania woods. Jecht was soon behind me, panting while trying to catch his breath.

            "Let me alone!" I screamed.

            We were in silence until the others arrived. Jecht reached out toward me again this time, and I furiously pushed him away. I could see confusion in Auron's eyes at the conflict between Jecht and I. I just looked at him slowly with a look of regret. His confused look quickly turned into a glare towards me. 

            I just walked ahead, slowly, dragging my feet. I didn't want to be with Jecht and I had lost Auron again…

            "Rikku. Can we talk about it? Jecht yelled catching up to me.

            "What's there to talk about? You kissed me! You probably planned the whole thing!" I screamed at him.

            I heard a slight gasp and turned to see it was Braska and Auron who had made it. Maybe Auron would take me back now.

            "You kissed me first!" Jecht yelled back.

            "You took advantage of my state when you saved me from the lightening. You know damn well why I kissed you and you to even think to try and make it go further!" 

I screamed angrily I completely forgot Auron and the others were there.

            "Well, you shouldn't have been with Auron when you could have been with me!" Jecht growled back.

            "I don't love you!" I yelled.

            "Yes you do. You have to…" Jecht spoke loud but wavering.

            "No I don't…" I spoke quietly.

            Jecht reached out to kiss me and I pushed him back into a tree. I just glared at him with tears in my eyes. 

            "E muja Auron…" [I Love Auron] I spoke slowly and slumped farther into Macalania Woods. 

            The men just seemed a little shocked by my anger and Auron seemed intrigued He had only heard the beginning of our conversation I guessed. I just knew that Auron felt like I had betrayed him and I was feeling guilty. I let Jecht get his grasp on me for those few seconds and look at what it did….

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Wai! I finished. What do you guys think?? Please R/R. 

::hands out dark gunner Rikku plushies:: 

Ai,

~~Sakura Yosei


	12. How I Felt Confused

Ok. I've had this idea for this chapter since I wrote the second one. Hehe. Hope you guys like.

Chapter Twelve: How I Felt Confused

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            We were finally settled down in Macalania woods when Auron insisted on hunting for fiends near by. I admit, he seemed awkward around me now…it was all Jecht's fault. Why did he have to kiss me? Because he liked me, because he was jealous of Auron…he abandoned his son and wife? It made me boil thinking about it. I was so close to being with Auron…

            "I'm worried…" I heard Braska state. 

            I was becoming a little worried too; Auron's "hunting" only lasted an hour at the most. He had been gone for nearly three. Jecht started to stand and I pushed him back down.. I strapped on my grenades and my items. Lastly, I strapped my Godhand with it's latest addition, Piercing. Braska was about to talk to me when I butted in.

            "Don't worry. I'll be careful. I'm quick, no fiend and catch me" I smiled and then ran off into the forest.

            I'll admit, I'd never tried to kill a fiend on my own. So I was a little nervous. I was sure with my new improvement on my weapon I wouldn't have any problems. Besides, I would find Auron soon anyway, I was sure. 

            About an hour later, I kicked a tree, the same one I kicked about twenty minutes ago. However, there was one last path that branched off which I had not explored. I ran through the roots with ease, glad the Al Bhed had learned to be quite nimble. 

            However I wasn't nimble enough to not trip over some one's body. I gasped as I fell, seeing Auron injured against a tree. It took me awhile to shake him into consciousness.

            "Rikku…go back to camp…" He managed to say.

            "I'm not leaving you here like this. I lost you once before and I won't again!" I yelled, hoping to persuade him.

            "The monster…is too strong for just one person to fight…head back to camp before it comes back…" Auron muttered and coughed.

            "What monster?" I asked quickly.

            Before he could answer I heard it a few feet behind me, a small growl. I stood quickly and turned to face it, being careful as can be. It was a rather odd monster. It's tail was snake from what I could tell, one head look like a lion, the other like a bird. One other head I saw but I was not able to see what it was from my angle. I went into a fighting stance as it lunged at me.

            I was able to dodge it but was soon hit by the snake part. I fell onto the ground, scraping my knees. I lunged to attack it and was struck by magic. I shuttered as my body responded in pain and cuts opened on my arms and legs. I was able to cut the tail off but it soon countered me with its fire breath, sending me against a tree. I heard the tree crack and I rolled out of the way as it fell, right onto my leg. By now, I had to say I had never seen my body in such a bad shape. My leg was trapped possibly fractured. My back must had bruises by now with how much pain I felt. My whole body had cuts and bruises. Tears in my clothing here and there. My hair which came down to my chest was now free and in my face. I struggled to see as I saw the monster lunge at my face, the best I could do was lift my arm to protect my face. It bit into Godhand and then attempted to bite my arm with it. 

            I knew it was risky, but I reached in my pack at my side with my free hand and pulled out a grenade. I unpinned it with my teeth and threw it near the monster. I counted silently in my head to three and I felt it blow up, hitting the tree and me as well. When I looked up, I was crashed against another tree near Auron and he looked at me with a bit of horror. I could only smile a bit and then felt the really weak monster bite my shoulder.

            I screamed in pain, people all the way from Besaid could have heard me from how loud I was. I was able to stab my godhand into the monster as it started to escape. I endured way too much pain for it to run off. It hurt Auron and it would pay. What really pissed me off was that I couldn't get godhand out of the monster's chest. So I was forced to unlatch it from arm causing me pain. Welts from where the monster had shaken my arm back and forth were quite visible. 

            It saw the chance to attack and it lunged at me, I was barely able to get out of the way. I slowly crawled across the ground to grab Auron's Mitsune. He looked at me with such horror and concern I didn't realize he could be thinking about how tragic my death might be. Right as the monster lunged at me, I held Mitsune up no matter how much my body was complaining and stabbed into its abdomen. He stumbled back slowly and I saw pyreflies emerge from it. I swore as I its blood on my body.

            I breathed really rapidly, trying to catch my breath and then I really felt the pain. My body was pretty much broken as I crawled over to Auron. He didn't seem to notice me until I touched his hand and smiled faintly.

            "Why…" was all he could say for a minute.

            "There is a thing called love Auron…" I spoke, having trouble breathing.

            I stood using the support of the tree and hauled Auron up too despite my body's complaining. I slung him over my back as careful as I could and he seemed scared at what I was doing. I slowly walked trying to get used to my body's weaknesses and Auron's weight.

            I walked over the roots of the tree, wincing when I tripped and fell against a tree. I was taking more of then pain then Auron but I still needed to get back to camp. So I quickly readjusted and walked once more. My back was complaining as well as the rest of my body. I felt Auron shift now and then and just shifted him back to how he had been.

            "Rikku…put me down…" he spoke slowly.

            "No…I have to get us back to camp…" I replied back.

            We remained quiet the rest of the time and when the ground became flat, I started to jog a bit. Trying to keep my body up as well as Auron's. It hurt badly and I started to sprint. I wasn't sure quite how I was able to but maybe it was my determination.

            About an hour later, I reached camp. The instant Jecht and Braska saw me; they were shocked and horrified just as Auron had looked. I slowly lowered him off my back and collapsed next to him into a sitting position.

            "What in the name of Yevon happened?" Braska asked aghast.

            "Auron was badly injured and this power fiend was there and I killed it…" I replied, breathing becoming difficult.

            "Why do you have metal embedded into your skin…" Jecht asked freaked out himself as he looked at me.

            "I'll treat you…" Braska started.

            "Treat Auron first…" I murmured and collapsed onto Jecht and I felt him catch me.

            "Rikku!" both men yelled and I blacked out.

            I woke up slowly trying to remember where I was. I moved slightly and moaned in pain. 

"Don't move too much. Braska is drained of his magic from curing us…he wasn't even able to finish working you." Auron spoke quietly.

I moved a bit and winced, Auron was right. There were still a lot of cuts, bruises and metal in my skin. I moved my head to look at Auron and he seemed to look a little horrified at the site of me.

"Braska and Jecht were scared…" Auron told me

"And what about you?" I asked quietly.

"Why should it matter what I think? You could have been killed!" Auron stated coldly.

"It was a sacrifice Auron…I was willing to risk my neck to save you and this is how you treat a girl who loves you!" I yelled frustrated.

"You don't love me so stop saying you do…" Auron said to me quietly.

"Fro lyhd oui caa E muja oui?" [Why can't you see I love You] I spoke quietly.

"E ys hud Pmeht Rikku! Oui muja Jecht!"  [I am not blind Rikku. You love Jecht] he responded back in Al Bhed.

I was freaked out; I didn't know he knew Al Bhed and that scared me. So I decided to yell at him in Al Bed.

"Hu! E muja oui. Hud Jecht! Oui...oui... uhmo oui..." [No, I love you. Not Jecht! You…you…only you…] I screamed in tears. 

Why did he have to put me through so much? I didn't mean for me to scream but my emotions took control. Auron didn't respond and only looked at me, his expression blank.

"Then why won't you love me unless you see me as no more then a mere girl who just gets in the way. It's so frustrating because. i love you and i try to protect you and all you do is become colder!" I screamed even more. Tears welling up more, 

"Damn it Rikku! I was scared! You could've been killed." Auron finally yelled back and he pulled me into an embrace.

The thing that freaked me out was that he was trembling a bit as held he me. 

            "I can't love you now…I'm sorry Rikku…not after seeing you and Jecht…" He spoke quietly and left my tent as quickly as he pulled me into the embrace.

            I wept quietly for a while, I felt so rejected. I stood slowly with much difficulty and headed to the small spring. I looked so dirty and bloody. I gently stripped off my clothing with much difficulty and waded into the water, wincing a bit at the cold water. My goal was to get the blood out of my clothes before it left a stain, it was the only clothes I had. I also purposely made sure my back was to where the camp was, so they couldn't see me.

            I felt so confused…Did Auron love me or not? Jecht had obviously made his feelings clear on the way through Djose, at the Moonflow and now the Thunder Plains. Not only that, I felt so estranged from my body. It felt like the time when I was raped in Luca. Just thinking about it made my pelvic bones hurt. I so desperately wanted to be clean again, and this monster's blood on me didn't help me in any way. I was dirty…inside and out. I even still thought I could have Auron? I was beginning to think I was kidding myself. My thoughts however were broken when I heard a twig snap. I looked around and went back to bathing.

About an hour later, I slowly waded out of the water and put my clean but wet clothes back on difficulty. The shrapnel in my skin burned as I moved. Once that painful ordeal was over. I sat down by the waters edge; I really needed to clear my head. Something was happening, I could tell but I didn't understand why.

My heart...it was about to break, Auron had rejected me. Why did guys have to such pricks? It made me almost think he took advantage of my state in that towel. Maybe he thought I was easy...no, Auron wouldn't be like that. I would have no more time to ponder more on the matter when I heard a twig snap again.

"You can come out..." I spoke, my voice wavering a bit.

I heard only a snarl in reply and I scooted back a bit. I was unarmed and camp was a little ways away. If I screamed or something they could hear, but would they get here in time. I could cast some black magic Lulu taught me, but I didn't know what was its weakness. As I blinked I saw it come out of the bushes, charging at me. I couldn't help but let out a scream as it knocked me into the water and came in after me. 

I tried to fight it off, but I felt it pin me to the spring floor. I held my breath, trying to fight back. I was weak enough as it was. But at this rate I would drown. All I could was mentally scream for help as I clawed at the fiend. I couldn't hold my breath much longer; I soon saw some blood come from my nose. I couldn't keep it up much longer. I was drowning....

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Um…how was that? I'll get back to the Jecht/Rikku issues next chapy k? I just needed to get this out. Wai. Thanks for reading. Please R/R. Thanks! ^^ 

::hands out white mage Rikku::


	13. How I Was Saved

Back with another chapter already. I think I'm getting back on schedule again. ::sigh:: I've decided to change some things I originally had for the story. It will be quite a surprise when it comes I'm sure. Lol. I'm sure I'll get flames saying their so out of character.  Anyway....

Disclaimer: Um....I tried to steal the rights to Squaresoft from the Maesters....however, I didn't realize they were unsents. Almost got my ass killed. .

How I Found You: A Rikku/Auron Fic

Chapter Thirteen: How I Was Saved

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            "Rikku!!" I heard a faint male scream.

            I couldn't feel much of my body, or feel pretty much anything. My mind was working but everything else didn't. The first thing I could feel however, were lips against my own. Slowly, my body was coming back into working. I felt someone pushing on my chest and their lips on mine. 

            I could help but cough up water, coughing up quite a bit. I slowly opened my eyes. It was foggy or my eyes weren't working properly. I saw shapes but that was about it.

            "Auron..." I called out lightly.

            "Rikku!" I heard a voice in response. 

            I noticed my hearing was still a little fuzzy as well. I couldn't tell if it was Auron, Jecht or Braska talking to me. I tried to sit up but I was laid back down on the grass. I could hear water so I assume I was still by the spring. 

            "Rikku..." I felt him say and place his arms around me. 

            When he did hug me, I couldn't help but hug back, I was terrified. I could barely see or hear, probably because I had too much water in my system. I constantly tried to refocus on the figure holding me but I couldn't. I ruled out it was Braska, because his figure would have been bigger because of his clothing. Now I just had to figure out if it was Auron or Jecht. That would be tricky, seeing if I did something to Auron; he would either reject it or embrace it. Jecht would just embrace. I reached my hand up to the figure, and I felt the shoulders, hair was in the way. However it felt silky like Auron's. So I assumed the figure that was holding me was he indeed.    

            "I'm sorry Auron...I shouldn't have wondered off alone..." I said with difficulty and coughed.

            "Shhh…" was all I got in response before I felt lips on mine.

            I responded back, moving closer. Putting my arms around his shoulders. It felt so good for him to embrace me again. Soon I felt our tongues lashing at each other. Something felt odd for some reason, he was a lot rougher. His hands slid to my shoulders, and then my eyes widened.

            "Jecht!" I yelled and pushed away, almost falling into the spring.

            He quickly caught me and he pulled me back up and close to him. I couldn't react; my body was still too weak.

            "How did you know?" He spoke slowly.

            "Your hands...they are far more callused...not to mention you kiss a lot rougher." I explained and felt ashamed again. 

            I slowly wiped my lips, as though for atonement and looked away at random shapes. He seemed to get I was mad at him again. He just sat me down and sat down next to me. I felt him place his hand on mine causing me to repulse mine quickly. I could hear sigh come out of him and I knew he was about to start a speech or something.

            "Rikku…why do you hate me…" he just said plainly.

            "I don't hate you…" I replied.

            "Then you love me?" he said hopeful.

            This time I let out a sigh. Didn't he know anything about love?

            "Jecht…you need to realize there are different types of love but also an area between love and hate." I explained with difficulty because I was coughing.

            "Are you ok?" He asked softly. 

            All I could do was nod as I went into a coughing fit. A small bit of blood came up into my hand and I quickly moved my hand into a fist at my side. Why was I coughing up blood? It had me a little frightened to the point I felt myself go white. Jecht looked at me with confusion in his face. I went into another coughing fit as more blood came up into my already bloodied hand. I brought my hand back down to my side.

            I gave him a small smile and hope he would by it. However, from the tone of his voice I guess he didn't.

            "Rikku…what's wrong?" he asked.

            "Nothing…I'm beginning to think you actually care if a fiend dies…" I tried to joke.

            "Knock it off Rikku." He spoke sternly.

            "I'm going to wash my hands…" I spoke softly and scooted toward the edge of the spring, being careful with my vision.

            "Show me your hands first…" he demanded.

            I quickly shoved them in the water and I felt him violently pull them out. With my blurry vision, I could see some dark watery liquid slid down my hand toward my wrist.

I struggled to get loose from Jecht but he wouldn't let go. I felt myself go backwards into the spring, taking Jecht with me.

            I quickly came to the surface, coughing. I headed over to the spring's edge quickly, still coughing. I felt something in my throat, almost like mucus but thinner. I started coughing more and I felt that Jecht was looking at me from behind me. I could see his shadow cast down from the light above. 

"Look at me." Jecht demanded.

More blood came up as expected, I could feel some dribbling down from the side of my mouth as the rest landed on my hand and in the water.

            "Look at me." Jecht demanded once more from me.

            I felt him turn me around, I didn't resist. He seemed to be a little shocked to see crimson in the water along with it on my hand. After that I couldn't see anymore, my tears blinded me completely.

            "When did this start?" he asked softly, taking me into his embrace.

            "A few minutes ago…when I first started coughing…." I replied. I placed my head on his chest subconsciously. 

            He seemed to rejoice in that and pulled me closer to him. I knew it was no use fighting, Auron had left me. I was coughing up blood…who knew what would happen next. He moved my face so he could look at me, his hand slowly placed on my shoulder, against my neck. I couldn't help but wince when he did that. That one side of my neck hurt. Jecht moved away my hair, intrigued. He slowly placed his finger on a spot on my neck and caused me to wince again.

            "That hurts…"I said in almost tears again

            "I see a puncture wound…caused by some kind of snake…" he spoke quietly, more to himself then me.

            "The monster I fought to save Auron…" I spoke quietly. 

            Auron…the name came back to me like a hammer. What was I doing cuddling with Jecht if I wanted Auron back? I moved away from Jecht and pulled myself out of the water slowly. 

            "Rikku?" he asked confused.

            I wobbled toward what looked like camp. Everything looked the same to me now. I was panicking. How far have I walked? Have I even moved? Was I going in the right direction? I wobbled further and fell on my knees.

            "Rikku. If you want to get back to camp I'll carry you. Your not in right shape to yourself."

            I felt him pick me up. One arm around my back the other under my knees. I felt him run, he was a fast runner I would admit unless we were just close to camp. I felt him sit me down, and I could feel the blood from my mouth earlier, drip down onto my leg. I heard him run off toward a tent.

            This time I heard some one else approach me. He sat down next to me.

            "Auron?" I asked hopefully.

            "Why do you wish to bother me?" He said, sounding perturbed.

            "Do you think Braska is well enough to heal me further…" I said somewhat panicky. 

            My throat started to burn as I coughed up more blood. I turned to look away as I coughed up more. My neck was starting to bother me and went to grasp it lightly. Now my stomach was making flips I couldn't help but wince in pain.

            I heard some one come running back.. I guessed it must have been Jecht.

            "Auron. Do we have any antidotes?" he asked quickly.

            "No I don't. I sold them all to ride the Shoupuff." He said annoyed.

            "Damn it!" I heard Jecht yell and kick the ground..

            "It's nothing serious." Auron spoke calmly.

            "She's poisoned. She's dying! Damn it Auron she's coughing up blood. You know why she's like this? It's because she risked your neck saving you!" Jecht yelled and I heard a noise and crashing.

            "Jecht? Auron? What appended?" I asked. I couldn't see. 

            "Why don't Jecht tell you?" I heard Auron growl and walk off.

            "Jecht?" I asked frightened.

            "I just punched him. It's for his own good. Braska still needs to rest before he can cast Esuna…hold on a little bit longer."   

            "Rikku…" I heard a sleepy murmur and I assumed it was Braska.

            "Uncle…" I spoke softly.

            "Can you try and wait until awhile longer?" Braska asked.

            I nodded and I felt tired. "Can I sleep? I feel really tired…" I spoke lightly.

            I felt Jecht pick me up and a few minutes later I felt him place me on my bedroll. He pulled a blanket or two over me and walked out of the tent. Meanwhile I felt some one else come in and lie down far away from me. From the smell, I could tell it was Auron. He had been drinking a little. I just sighed and closed my eyes…

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Well, there it is…my lovely chapter. Buahaha. Hope you guys liked it!

::hands out item shooter Rikku plushies::

Ai,

~~Sakura Yosei


	14. How I Made A Sphere

Alrighty folks.. This is going to be a "reflection" type chapter. I know its lame. But I feel it's a chance to sum what's happened so far easily. Anyway…

Disclaimer: Can't think of funny to say. So I'll just say simply, I don't own final fantasy x in anyway.

How I Found You: A Rikku/Auron Fic

Chapter Fourteen: How I Made A Sphere

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            When I awoke I felt weak still. My vision was still cloudy and my stomach hurt to no end. I could see blurry colored figures now at least. I fumbled around for something and hit flesh. I sighed when I felt it shift and push my hand off of its arm. I felt Auron shift more and then leave the tent. 

            My heart was aching, I needed to tell some one, but not have them know. After some thinking I remembered the sphere that Jecht recorded Auron and I on the boat. When we on the way to Djose I managed to find it in his belongings and take it. I now fumbled around in my bag next to my bedroll. I managed to feel the small blue dome shape and pulled it out, holding it close to my chest. I held it tightly, letting it record all it heard. It reminded much of what Yunie did back before Zanarkand.

            I let out a big sigh and looked at the spot where Auron used to lay with blurry vision. It was now or never and from what I could hear outside, Braska was really having a hard time recovering from curing Auron and I from the Chimera. But I was poisoned…dying possibly. I decided I should leave a somewhat goodbye note if I did die and if not erase what about to say.

            "Me being here…is disrupting time as I speak…" I started. "I only wanted to see Auron again, I knew I was asking for a lot. Somehow I got my wish…I was ten years in the past. I was able to see my uncle again…be with Auron. One obstacle stands in my way…that would be Jecht, father to my dear friend Tidus. He…" I had to stop, almost overcomed with tears. "He-He loves me…in the way I love Auron. He's constantly there for me, constantly shoving his feelings in my face. It frightens me, because now Auron won't love me anymore after he sacrificed his monk hood for me." I had to stop once again. It wasn't as easy as I thought it to be.

            "Now…I'm probably dying…if you are listening to this…I am dead. This reminds me of when Yunie did this…I'm so pathetic…so homesick…why did I have to come back to this time? Its caused me more pain the happiness. I suppose I should stop dwelling and start saying goodbye to people." I stated shakily.

            "First off…My dear cousin Yunie. You were such a pillar of strength and I fear my death here will prevent you from knowing me in the future. Alterations to the future will be great with my passing. I know you're strong to overcome these alterations. I know you and Tidus will be happy together and be together after you beat Sin…I love you Yunie…" 

            "Wakka…we've had an interesting friendship I must say. Always trying to look for the best way to get out of things. Mostly I would like to thank you, for not only being my friend but for accepting my Al Bhed background…I'll miss that hair of yours too." I said trying to chuckle but it came out as an almost choked cry.

            "Lulu…I want to be so much like you. You were so strong, independent, and honest. I hope you keep Wakka in his place. I'll miss our small lessons in the morning on Black Magic…I'll even miss those little Mog dolls you used. Keep over things for me…I'll miss you. You were always a big sister to me." 

            "Khimahri…You were silent…yet…thoughtful. It was a great quality of yours. You knew when to speak and when not to. I'm truly sorry about the Ronso…it must be heard because I can almost relate. Please keep Yunie safe for me…before I die, I would also like to say that it was an honor knowing the last Ronso." At this point I couldn't hold back the tears…

            "I'm sorry you guys…I try to be strong but without you guys…it seems impossible." 

            "Tidus…You were like a brother to me. Heck, even strangers thought we were siblings. Always looking on the bright side, you helped us pull through the pilgrimage. I must say…things wouldn't have been the same without you…I would have never met Auron…or the others. I would like to thank you for the experience you gave on that pilgrimage…make Yunie happy while you can…" I spoke softly.

            "Brother…Father…You will probably never see this. Infact, your probably wondering where I am now in both time periods. I'm sorry to say that I'm the reason my younger me might be gone…you helped me trough a lot and understood my duty as a guardian. I would also like to thank you guys for letting me be a guardian." 

            "Uncle…I love you so much. You remind me so much of Yunie…Please don't blame yourself for my death. It was my own carelessness that got me in the end…Please defeat Sin and tell Aunt I say hi…you've been a great help to me and I would like to thank you for letting me in your life…"

            "Jecht…" I stopped there…I didn't think I could continue…however I found the strength in me too…I had to. 

            "Jecht…we've had an interesting friendship I must say…no matter how many times you say I love you, you have to realize who I really love…Forcing it upon me won't help. You are indeed a great friend; I can talk to you when I need to and you always lend a hand. Overall, I would like to thank you for just being there…it was great knowing you and keep and eye on Auron for me…Also…" I felt hesitant to say what I wanted to say.

            "Also…I'm happy to say that…your not quite the man Tidus made you to be…" at this I sighed. I felt something in me, it wanted to come out but I suppressed it. It was a feeling of loneliness at the fact, Jecht would become Sin…why was I feeling so lonely at this?

            "Lastly…but not Least of course…Auron…This takes a lot of courage and I will try to say everything I want to." I had to stop and cough for a few minutes and felt my lungs feeling odd.

            "I love you…no matter what you feel toward me I do. I knew loving an older man was a mistake. I knew you being an unsent made it worse. Without you, I would have not been a guardian…without meeting you at the Moonflow…I wouldn't be here know speaking this. I just love you so much…and I will protect you no matter what you think or say. It was a promise I made to myself. I lost you once…I won't do it again…I guard you as I guard Braska…However, I must apologize for my lack of servitude…this poison…its preventing me from protecting you in the future however, I protected you when I received this wound. I have no regrets…I think. My one night with you Auron…was paradise. I didn't want it to end, never ever. Now look at what's happened. Life is spinning out of control…You despise me know, I'm dying and Jecht is professing his love…I'm a little scared but why I am telling you this…I don't know." I paused. I wasn't sure if that was good enough.

            My heart felt heavy and confused…I was leaving something out…it didn't have to do Auron either…it had me frightened. I could help but let out a small gasp…"I can't…both…no…." I whispered almost inaudibly. 

            I quickly clicked the sphere off and I felt my stomach doing all sorts of flips again. It was burning in there, painful. I couldn't help but grit my teeth. I slowly laid back down and bit my lip to keep myself from screaming. It hurt…so badly. I just wanted death to come to me right away or cure me right away.

            "Ihlma!" [Uncle] I cried in pain.

            It wasn't long until Braska and Jecht were in my tent, looking at me with concern. My body was shaking and pale. I slid the sphere to the side of me and breathed heavily. My body wanted to do different things, wanted pain to go to different places. I started coughing up blood again; I was worried as to how long I had left.

            "We need to get her to Macalania Temple" Auron spoke coming into the tent. 

            He seemed to be in a hurry and the men started packing things up. I quickly grabbed the sphere and tucked it into my blanket around me. I felt Jecht pick me up and carried me out, like he had brought me into the tent. I kept the sphere close to my chest under the blanket as Jecht walked. Auron took down our tent with the help of Braska and we were heading off toward Macalania.

            The bad memories of it being cold came back when we hit the coldness of the snowy area of Macalania. Braska spotted the Rin Travel Agency, recently establishing a branch here in Macalania. He ushered us over, trying to not mind the cold himself. I tried not to shiver under the blanket; I didn't want to give Jecht another reason to butter me up.

            When we did reach the inn, I was ushered inside quickly. At this point I couldn't see at all, my eye had gone totally fuzzy. I also felt the sphere drop from my hands; I mentally slapped myself as I felt my body go limp. I was set upon a bed or something similar ad Braska was able to buy an antidote off of the clerk. Jecht fed me the foul liquid, I never did have a thing for potions, except Al Bhed ones.  

            I was laid to rest but I could not sleep. I could feel the antidote in my body, fighting the poison, the foul taste still on my lips. The sphere was still on my mind, I had dropped it? Or did it. Feeling was coming back to my body and I felt it in my hands still. I wonder what I had dropped then. Or was it I who dropped anything? I felt confused, just wanting to keep the Sphere to myself for eternity.

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How was that? R/R please.

Ai, 

~~Sakura Yosei


	15. How I Saw My Fears

Alrighty, another chapter. Wow. I'm sure you guys love me. Lol. Anyway, right to the point. Also, sorry for the delay. ::runs away as objects come flying at me::

Disclaimer: Too tired to think of a funny saying. It's four in the morning…Rikku, Auron and gang belong to Squaresoft…sadly…

How I Found You: Rikku/Auron Fic

Chapter Fifteen: How I Saw My Fears

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            I opened eyes slowly, hearing quiet whispers outside my room. The first thing I saw was an old antique beside table. I slowly sat up, I could see perfectly now. My stomach was no longer crying in pain. I stood slowly, noticing my shoes by the bed. All I really wanted to see was nature outside my window, in hopes it wasn't a dream. This meant I survived and I could still continue to protect Auron. 

            I glanced outside the window to see Braska and Jecht outside; Jecht was playing around like a young child in the snow. I couldn't help but crack a small smile, it wasn't often you saw him acting like this. Braska held something in his hand, it took me a minute to glance and see what it was. I gasped when I saw that it was a sphere. I quickly marched over to my bed and felt all around for it. It was nowhere to be seen. I swore and kicked the bed; I fumbled through the small dresser, under the bed, everywhere I could think of. 

            I quickly ran outside of my room, almost bumping into Auron. I just quickly ran past him and marched over to the innkeeper.

            "Excuse me. Have you guys cleaned my room while I was sleeping?" I asked the Al Bhed woman.

            "Cunno. Fo ryja hud duilrat ouin nuus uh dra syh eh nat'c naxoacdc." [Sorry. We have not touched your room on the man in red's requests.] The woman responded in Al Bhed.

            "Ryc yhoha paah eh so nuus? Dra syh eh nat, syopa dra blitzball bmyoan?" [Has anyone been in my room? The man in red, maybe the blitzball player?] I asked softly. 

            "Es cunno. E ryja ryt syho licdusanc nalahdmo." [I'm sorry. I have had many customers recently.] She responded.

            I looked about and indeed, see many people seeking shelter from the cold.

I glanced back at her and nodded, "Es cunno du ryja pudranat oui." I spoke and bowed slightly. I walked off. I needed to know who had my sphere.

            I slowly walked outside, it had been a little over a week since the Thunder Plains incident, almost two. It seemed like much longer and I needed my sphere. I needed to delete all that was on it. So people wouldn't see how I felt this past while. I completely forgot I was barefoot when I walked out onto the snow, heading toward Jecht. When he saw me he seemed to look away, guilt on his face.

            When I got over there, I winced and felt myself sink into the snow about a inch or two. The snow was biting my feet, almost as though to devour them.

            "Where is my sphere Jecht?" I asked almost angrily.

            "What Sphere?" He asked in return and fell on his back onto the snow, looking at the sky.

            "My…sphere…I made one incase I didn't make it…" I asked, looking at him.

            He didn't even look at me as he responded, "I don't know. I have not been in your room. I promised Auron I wouldn't." He spoke softly.

            Auron…he must have my sphere I thought. How exactly would I get it back? I decided with the more straightforward approach, which I did not look forward to. I ran back inside, and when I did, my feet burned from the sudden temperature change. 

            "Auron!" I yelled looking for him.

            I saw him sitting in the corner of the inn, sipping some alcohol from his jug. He seemed to have a small smirk on his face, which was almost hard to see. I marched to him immediately and he was looking straight at me. I saw down across from him and wondered what was so funny.

            "You have my sphere" I said quickly.

            "Actually, I don't." he let out a smirk. "Try checking your room once more." I now spoke seriously.

            I bolted toward my room; I really wanted to know where it was. Who knows would could have it by now. I opened the door and started to rip off all the bedding. I was stopped however when I heard hushed voices from the other part of the inn. I crept against the wall and heard two voices: Jecht and Auron's. Could they be on speaking terms now? I thought. Last thing I knew, they were at each other's throat and all because of me. It was why I tried to leave the group in the first place. 

            "So…does she know you have her sphere?" Jecht asked.

            "No…I don't want her to know we've viewed it." Auron replied.

            "Hmm…I agree. But what are we going to do about her?" Jecht asked.

            "What do you mean?" Auron seemed confused.

            "Rikku…you heard her, she may profess her love to you but you do realize that resolve of hers toward you is splitting into two. One piece belonging to each of us. She may not want to admit she likes me and I'm not bragging that she does, but it was obvious on that sphere." Jecht explained and I saw him cross his arms and display a frown on his face.

            "True…and we both know that both of us are…involved with her." Auron spoke slowly, thinking.

            "Perhaps you should not be involved with her…" Jecht spoke unsurely.

            "And let her be with you??" Auron shot back surprised at his proposal.

            "No no no…sorry, what I meant was both of should not be involved. It will be harder on her and us if we do not do this. Besides, us bickering like this is causing many problems for Braska. We will slow him down if we keep bickering." Jecht explained.

            "Fine…I agree. No advances, what so ever. From either of us. I just kind of wish…I didn't have to do that though…" Auron spoke and took a big gulp out of his jug.

            "Your not the only one…" Jecht let out a sigh. 

            I did not hear anymore after that. My ears blocked them out as tears slid down my cheeks. I was glad they worked out their differences but now; I had a zero chance of being with Auron. I realized a small part of my heart wanted Jecht, but not in the way, I wanted Auron. Jecht it was a simple crush, only because he was so nice, well, too nice. Auron was pure attraction and genuine feelings.

            I wiped my eyes quickly and made sure to look okay before walking up to the two men talking now about other issues. They stopped talking when I came up to the table.

            "I couldn't find my sphere so I'm going to go ask Braska about it." I said, giving them a small smile before sliding on my shoes.

            I walked outside to see Braska meditating or at least it looked like it. 

            "Uncle…I am going to go see the Chocobos incase you wonder where I am later" I spoke. 

            He only nodded and returned to what he was doing. I walked silently toward the Chocobo by the main road heading to the calm lands. I talked briefly with the owner, paid the woman some money for the Chocobo, and mounted it. I quickly checked myself. I had my weapon, my targe, and my items. This time, they weren't going to stop me. I knew exactly what to do, go to the calm lands and go to the edge…were I may join all the people I lost when Home was destroyed. 

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I'm so sorry for the delay!!! Been sick, stressed with school. My 16th birthday coming up and all. A lot :D  Please R/R and I'm sorry I took forever.

::hands out Mascot Rikku plushies::

Ai,

~~Sakura Yosei


	16. How I Found A Light

I'm 16 now!! Ahh. Don't hit me so hard. So I've been gone for a while. Summimasen! ::bow:: Thanks to all who wished me a happy birthday. In all honesty, the reason I'm writing this is because some one sent me a really rude and threatening email to update ;_; They said they would report my story to FF.Net, sadly, I don't know their author id. ::sniff:: so here you guys go, the next chapter. It might be crappy because I'm writing it at 3 in the morning, listening to Ayumi Hamasaki, deadly tired, trying to get this done soon, suffering from allergies and all that lovely stuff  . On with the show!

Disclaimer: I had it, that wonderful Aeon which had the copyrights to all I desired but no, Seymour banished it, Rikku, Auron and all FFX related belong to Squaresoft. ;_;

How I Found You: A Rikku/Auron Story

Chapter Sixteen: How I Found A Light

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            It had started to rain along the path from Macalania to the Calm Lands. Something I found odd, I never saw it rain near Macalania back when I was with Yunie and gang…Yunie…and gang. The words struck me hard, if I wasn't holding on tight to the reins I might as well have fallen off. I missed them so much but was ten years apart from them, I could never see them again. Unless Sin threw me back to the present, but most likely I would die then have that happen. There was no way to return…but my death here would cause rifts in time, Yunie would be caught by the Al Bhed at Macalania, on the Moonflow, the group would have been doomed in the Sanubia Desert too…Not to mention I provided one of the finishing blows to Yunalesca and Sin…they would be doomed without me I realized, no matter how small I thought I was in Spira, I still had a small light inside me that helped others.

            I really didn't have much time to think more as I spotted a fiend lurking slyly near my chocobo. To not risk being heard by people in Macalania, I decided to cast fire on the ice wolf instead of using a grenade. Much to my surprise, it stood back up, looking even more angered. I swore to myself, mainly because fire was its weakness but the spell wasn't strong enough. Lulu had only taught me the four basic spells, thunder, fire, blizzard and water. 

            I wanted to reach the Calm Lands, that was it, so I dove my heels into the golden bird to make it run. It started to run fast, causing me to hold on to the reins fast. The fiend however was close, having the agility to keep up. I dove my heels in further into the beast, and the bird warked in complaint. I tightened the reins and the bird soon realized I was serious and sped off faster then the fiend could keep up. 

            I decided to let the bird keeps its fast pace as we entered the Calm Lands and I stirred the bird toward the cliffs to the west from the entrance. We sped by fast, past other Chocobos, Al Bhed, trainers, and fiends.  I could tell bird was getting tired so I tried to slow it down however it seemed to think it needed to maintain its speed. I kicked the bird lightly with my foot by accident and caused it to go faster. I pulled on the rein so tightly my hands burned and ached with pain from the leather strips. The edge of the cliffs were coming closer and closer and I wanted to scream the bird was going to take me over with it and I didn't want to go off like that. I needed time to reflect, looking down over the edge, to debate what I should do but no, the bird was taking my future into its own hands. 

            "You Stupid Bird!!!" I screamed and yanked hard and smacked the beast with my targe. 

            I attempted to pull the reins in a different direction, seeing if it would go another way but it refused. I came to a decision, to jump off it. As I jumped off, my foot caught the reins, causing me to fall under the bird and tripping it. The bird landed on top of me freaking out and clawing into the ground, rather my body.

            "Get off of me!" I screamed, but it was muffled partially by the bird. 

The bird stood finally and moved, but my foot was not untangled in the reins, not to mention I saw a piece of machina approaching. I swore and as the bird saw it, panicking more, trampling me more in the muddy grounds from the rain. 

            I fought to untangle my foot from the reins, causing the bird more panic. The chocobo warked and then headed towards the edge, dragging me. I just shut my eyes as I felt the ground under my body disappear but then I felt the edge of the ground in my hands, the chocobo weighing me down terribly by being attached to my foot. 

            I carefully held onto the edge for dear life as I reached down with my godhand to uncut the reins. As I did so, the bird started warking and moving more, causing me to almost lose my group.

            "Just hold still…" I murmured through gritted teeth.

            I quickly slice the reins with my godhand and brought my hand back up to the ledge with my other hand was resting. I pulled myself up carefully, being sure not to slip on the mud. I landed in a small mud pile and tried to catch my breath. I slowly looked over the edge, seeing the Chocobo's lifeless body on a ledge, about 20 feet down, its neck was broken.  I winced in pain at the site, I felt bad, but it was going to kill me. That stupid Machina…machina…I had completely forgot about it but when I turned around I saw that he had gone toward another chocobo a few yards away. A sigh of relief escaped my lips and I stared off into the distance, the sun was setting with a pretty rainbow for the rain had just stopped.

            "Its pretty isn't it?" I heard some one speak, causing me to almost slip of the edge in the mud by surprise.

            I arched my head to look behind me to see a trainer, looking a little discontent. I motioned for her to sit in a non-mud area and she obliged. She looked over the edge to see the chocobo and then she glanced at me sadly.

            "Its my fault…" I spoke slowly.

            She put a hand up to my face indicating to stop speaking and I did. 

            "I saw what happened…it couldn't be helped, from the look of things, that chocobo wasn't trained properly…Where did you get it?"  She asked softly. 

            "Near the Rin Travel Agency in Macalania." I replied honestly, I couldn't help but stare at the poor thing down below.

            "Hmm....Explains a lot. Chocobos there are just caught from the wild in the Calm Lands and then given to people to ride for a certain amount of gil. I've heard about it. Why did you need one to come to the Calm Lands anyway?" she inquired curiously.

            "Hehe...well, I left my group awhile back, I could no longer travel with them, things were getting too tense, besides, you may find this foolish, but I came to this edge for a single reason..." I started to explain as briefly as possible.

            "Ah...you need not explain further...I've heard this story way too many times in my lifetime..." The trainer smiled a little bit, "Just because you can't get what you want, doesn't mean you should despair and throw all you have done away." The trainer then stood, "Use it as a reason to strive, to get beyond it..." She then started to walk away, to another chocobo nearby.

            I hastily stood, "Thank You!" I yelled. 

            She simply nodded and I looked back to the horizon, what had I been thinking? These woman's words burned deep in my heart, Jecht was merely an obstacle. I took in a deep breath and I started to walk away from the edge, feeling somewhat renewed. Sometimes you needed a small light to push you through the dark I realized. That trainer was my light, and at the end of the tunnel hopefully was Auron. 

            As though reading my mind, I hear Chocobos warking echo through the Calm Lands and I looked to the entrance of this place from Macalania. I saw three Chocobos in the distance, I only assumed they were the men. I just giggled slightly to myself, a much-needed giggle and headed toward the Rin Agency despite my body complaining. 

            It seemed so funny in my eyes that a small conversation seemed to take place for ages and now I had a new state of mind. I'd always been known for being rational I guess, and when I decided I wanted to be gone forever, I might have been rational then. I needed a slap in the face so to speak. 

            When I did reach the Rin Travel Agency, I could see Braska and company inching close to the agency. I just waved so they could see me and judging from Braska's look, he knew I'd be here. Uncles...they are like parents...reading your mind...but I didn't care right now. I was just happy to see them. 

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There, you happy you evil blackmailer!!! I wrote your chapter...eh...hehe...please note I get more irritable as I stay up longer. This is about three hours since I started writing  :D

Hehe. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy and well its 6 or so in the morning now so goodbye, until next time ::falls asleep:: 

Oh wait; you guys want your next plushie, Lol. ::hands out naked Jecht plushies:: hehe j/k that was to make up for me not posting this on April 1st :P  ::hands out songstress Rikku plushies:: 

Ai,

~~Sakura Yosei


	17. How I Said Goodbye

Hey guys, I'm back. I will tell you my odd inspiration for writing again, not only did my friend encourage me a bit but I also was reading a lot of my manga I have last night (couldn't sleep). I was reading Ayashi No Ceres: Vol 2 – Yuuhi. My most recent ANC volume I own. Watase's little comment boxes, I love them. They made me think about my story and HIFU has a new feature, commentary! I will know talk about things in the chapter I put at the end of each chapter, kind of like a chat section. I've wanted to share my way of thinking with these things, especially about the story.

So on with the show, and I dedicate this chapter to Watase Yuu for inspiring me again and my always-lovely fans. P.S. ::hands out naked Jecht plushie:: XD I decided my joke was mean so I am giving them out. Hehe. 

How I Found You: A Rikku/Auron Fanfiction

Chapter Seventeen: How I Said Goodbye

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            I could tell Braska was glad to see me when he came up to the agency. However when I looked behind his tall figure I saw to pairs of eyes glaring at me with annoyance: one pair of brown eyes and one pair of bluish-gray. I quickly glanced away and headed farther into the little circle, more towards the counter of the agency. I didn't think they would be that mad, then again, they had no idea why I took off and I honestly didn't want to tell them what I had planned to do. 

            I heard some chocobos warking nearby and looked to my right to see the Chocobo trainer with some of her chocobos. I let out a small sigh and headed towards her as Auron and Jecht looked at me confused. Braska simply headed up to the counter for supplies with the little money we had left from the Shoupuff incident. 

            "Hello again." I said politely and I caught her off guard.

            "Hey, I see you rejoined your party." She spoke and cheerfully handed me a brush she had been using to groom the Chocobo. 

            I walked over to the other Chocobo next to her and slowly started to groom as I saw her do. The trainer picked up another brush and then carefully fed the Chocobo some greens. 

            "Yeah, my group isn't too happy with me right now. I took off and I was constantly getting injured. I've been slowing my group's pilgrimage. I feel bad for it too…" I spoke slowly as I groomed the chocobo's tail.

            "So you're a guardian?" she sounded intrigued by that.

            "Yeah, my uncle is going to summon the final aeon to beat Sin." I said and stopped quickly when the Chocobo nipped at my hand.

            "Stop that Auroch, you know better. So you're going to beat Sin? That's some job. I know we have Yevon and praise be to him but sometimes my rational side gets to me, like why does he keep coming back? Why do we constantly have to sacrifice some one we love? If its never going to leave why continue to kill our summoners to appease Yevon and relieve Spira of Sin for a short while?" the trainer spoke carefully as though she was thinking deeply.

            "I have to agree. Maybe someday a summoner will see this or maybe try to defeat Sin in a different way."  I spoke, hoping she will see my way.

            "Maybe…it would be a great thing. Whoever that summoner may be, praise be to Yevon for them." She spoke and fed Auroch some greens.

            You hear that Yunie? You're being praised, even before your walking those painful and hard steps of a summoner. You sure have changed a lot you know. I just hope I can be there to do your pilgrimage a second time.

            "So who are the guardians with you?" I heard the trainer's voice snap into my head.

            "The one in red is Auron…Yeah, Auron…" I spoke, turning red.

            "I take he's the one?" She asked.

            "Yes…however we aren't together anymore…the other guardian in the group, Jecht is to blame…Auron and I were together and then Jecht decided his feelings needed to be seen and felt by me…He caught me off guard and put us in a situation which to Auron looked similar to cheating on him…He won't take me back but now both of them have called truce and now I can't have Auron back…That's the reason why I wanted to be dead…I so wanted to be dead…If you hadn't been there I would be dead now…by that Chocobo with a broken neck." I explained slowly.

            "I see…Love is quite the lovely yet mean thing at times. It has its thorns as my mother once said. Remember that, besides, just try to make better of the situation." The trainer spoke.

            "Rikku! We're leaving now for Mt. Gagazet!" Braska yelled so I could hear.

            "That's my uncle…" I spoke slowly and I could see a sad look on the trainer's face.

            "Rikku…I thank you for talking to me, and I do hope you come and visit me again, if you survive Sin. I will truly miss you." A tear or two fell down her cheek and I just felt speechless.

            She reached out and pulled me into a tight hug, which I returned.

            "If you ever do come back, just look for me and if you need to ask around, ask for Althea, the Chocobo trainer." She spoke slowly.

            "I'll miss you Althea" I hugged her still so tightly I thought I might break her.

            She eventually let go and I headed toward Braska and I noticed Auron giving me a bit of a confused face but quickly returned to his usual manner. We started to walk out of the agency when I heard the chocobos warking nearby. I turned and I saw four chocobos heading towards us. I quickly hopped up onto one as Braska and Auron followed. Jecht looked confused and hopped on with a little difficulty. 

            I looked back as we left, and I hastily waved to Althea as she disappeared out of view. We were headed toward the northern end of the Calm Lands, where the fighting arena and pathway to Mt. Gagazet was. The Chocobos seemed to know their way so hopefully we wouldn't get lost like the Auron from the present told me they had done in the past. I muffled a small chuckle as we reached the Fighting Arena, memories of Tidus having his butt being bitten by a perturbed Chocobo, in which he had been teasing.

            "What's so funny?" Jecht asked.

            "Just a memory that took place here…" I just smiled.

            "Care to share?" Braska asked.

            "Well, one of me fellow guardians decided to tease this poor Chocobo so when he turned his back to it, it decided to bite him in the butt." I explained.

            "Say…who were the other guardians in your pilgrimage…and who was the summoner?" Jecht asked.

            I swallowed fast and Braska looked at me and understood my sudden uneasiness.

Braska gave a slight nod as if to say, its ok to say. I hesitantly spoke…

            "There was Lulu a black mage, Wakka a blitzball player, Khimahri, a Ronso, Tidus, a boy from Zanarkand who came to the present some how and then…Auron, the warrior monk." I spoke slowly, seeing both Auron and Jecht look at me in disbelief.

            "My son is just a boy!" Jecht cried in disbelief.

            "We had never met until that day back in Besaid" Auron also stated in disbelief.

            I looked at Braska with a plead of help on my face. One whispered word escaped his lips and it was the word "truth".

            "I…I'm not from this time…" I said slowly as we neared the cliff's edge.

            "From when then?" Jecht asked quickly.

            "10 years in the future. Where I was Yuna's guardian, she's my cousin and Braska's daughter." I spoke softly. 

            Before anymore question could be asked we felt the ground shake and Auron and I were near the edge. I swore in Al Bhed as the ground crumbled out below Auron's and I Chocobos. We were falling off the edge at a fast rate in which we would be dead.

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Ok. So now for my chat section ^^

I really wanted an original character to use so when I thought of the idea for Althea I was ecstatic. I wanted her to be a middle aged, chocobo trainer with a heart of gold. Being in the calm lands she has met many summoner's and their hardships she has come to read people like a book. However, I wanted her to become attached to Rikku mainly because of the lost of her daughter, which the readers wouldn't know about. Rikku in my mind looks like her daughter. Also I choose the name Althea because it sounds somewhat original but also it means, "healing" in Greek. I thought it fit her perfectly. 

Now also for the while you saw that Rikku was finally revealing to Jecht and Auron. For some reason I felt like since it was near the end of the pilgrimage so I should bring it up. Don't worry things will get intresting, I Promise.


	18. How I Tumbled Into the Darkness

Hello darlings….lol. yes I am back and yes I am writing again. I just rewrote chapter 1 and I'm pretty much writing up this chapter that I had had in my mind for awhile now. If it doesn't make sense in relation to the past chapters, please keep in mind that I'm going to be rewriting all of those…so yeah XD also putting this chapter up so people can see I have updated!

**Disclaimer** Don't own them, never will ::cries::

**Title** How I Found You

**Pairings** Rikku/Auron, some Rikku/Jeckt, maybe some reference to Yuna/Tidus.

**Rating** Just to be safe…you should be at least 16 XD rated about NC-17 to M. There are some adult things such as sex (consensual and nonconsensual), swearing, violence and the like.

**Genre** Romance/Drama/Action

**Synopsis** Post FFX, Rikku is having a hard time dealing with the loss of Auron, a man she found herself to be in love with. When coping, she finds herself pulled into the waters and emerges in past, 10 years in the past. Upon arriving she stumbles into a familiar face.

Chapter 18 How I Tumbled into the Dark 

As the ground started to crumble from underneath us I saw Jecht's chocobo panicking, jumping away from the ground moving. Braska's did just about the same as he tried to calm it, not succeeding as Auron's decided to toss him onto the ground and run ran past the other two. Mine was to petrified to move, as was I. I wanted to jump off yet my body just wouldn't respond. I was screaming the word "jump" in mind yet my legs stayed there.

Before I could work up the nerve to move the ground fell out completely from underneath my chocobo. All I could do was scream, clutching the chocobo tightly as we fell, hearing Braska calling my name. I watched as he grew smaller and smaller in my view and then gone. I just wrapped my arms around my chocobos's neck and peeked down. It was pitch black, nothingness. I quickly shot back up and stared into the chocobos's feathers, feeling sick. The bottom of the gorge would surely be my grave I kept thinking.

It was just like when I first arrived here, a frightening experience, I couldn't do anything. I wasn't in control. Would I survive this like I did the waters? All I could do now was squint my eyes shut, whimpering a bit as I felt my arms snake around the chocobos's neck even tighter.

No more being a guardian I thought, no more Auron, no more uncle Braska, no more Yunie, no more Spira. I could never resolve things between Jecht and Auron, the things between Auron & I. I wouldn't live to help the future. Like when I thought I was dying from poison, I felt myself reflecting on whether or not my death would really impact the future. Why me? Why was stuff like this always happening to me.

A loud metal scraping sound reached my ears and I winced, breaking me from my thoughts. Seconds later I hear the sound stop and felt myself being yanked away from chocobo roughly. I had stopped falling but soon felt myself going down little by little. Whatever was holding me I clung to desperately, not wanting to let go.

I felt myself go up a little and then down again, slipping a bit, it wasn't till I heard a few grunts and me smashing into the wall of rocks that I yelped a bit, peeking an eye open. I saw Auron, catching his breath a little now that I was up near him. He was clutching his sword for dear life, which was buried into the rock wall now. I saw him grasp for better footing as his arm tightened around my waist.

I let out a small sigh and clutched the rock wall, feeling my heart beat against the rocks at a rapid rate. My head was spinning a little as I rested my forehead against the rocks, thinking about how crazy Auron was. Then again he always seemed to have the habit of pulling me out of deep thought. I the corner of my mouth curl upwards a little but then let out another sigh.

Come on Rikku be positive I kept thinking. Then again I hadn't really been positive since I first got here. It's as if that battle with Sin and the loss of the 2 closest to me drained me more then I knew. I felt my breath slowing a little and decided to peek over at Auron; he seemed to be in deep thought as well, but still clutching his sword and me tightly.

I looked down a bit by mistake and soon regretted it, pitch darkness, making me feel dizzy. My head was spinning was more and I quickly looked back at the rock wall, moving my feet around for some footing to feel more balanced.

"You shouldn't…look down." Auron muttered as he got a bit more footing as well.

I just winced a little and nodded, feeling meek suddenly. I could really explain the feeling other then that I suppose I was feeling vulnerable now. Vulnerable to Auron, to Spira, even to death. Death…. Argh don't think about death I thought. Not going to happen. I am not going to die…not going to die… I just kept repeating it over and over again in my head.

I closed my eyes again and leaned against the rock wall now, feeling supported by it as I moved my one foot to a bigger rock sticking out. Auron's arm was still around my waist tightly and when I opened my eyes again to glance over at him I saw he had his eyes closed now.

It seemed like ages to me. How long had we been down here? I thought. Hours? Only minutes? I couldn't really tell but I didn't like this silence between us. Auron was always so calm when in a pinch. It was an Auron trait. I needed to be more like that. Maybe that's why there was silence, he was calm. I needed conversation because I was not calm at all, maybe fidgety even.

I let out another sigh and began grumbling in my head. I needed noise; I needed to talk to him. I soon found reason to. As I shifted my foot I saw the rocks my feet were on to crumble slightly. I felt my heart racing again and swallowed hard, trying to find the courage to sound calm.

"Auron…" I finally said nervously and tugging his sleeve a little, failing to sound calm.

"Rikku we can talk later…once we get out of this…" he spoke calmly, his eyes still closed.

"No…. Auron…" I said a bit more panicked, tugging at his sleeve a little more as I watched more small pieces of rock tumble into the darkness quietly.

I was starting to feel a little sick from staring down and the next thing I knew the pieces of rock my feet were on broke from the wall completely. Surprised by the sudden increase in weight I saw Auron's eyes snap open, feeling myself slip through his arm quickly and towards the darkness. I resisted the urge to scream this time and instead felt a small whimper come out of my mouth.

"Rikku!!" I hear Auron shout my name loudly and soon even he was out of my sight.

I kept falling and falling, further and further into the darkness and soon I felt some inner strength come from within. It was like it was telling me what to do. I felt myself reaching my arm out towards the wall, trying to grab at it to stop me falling. All I felt were my fingers smashing against rocks and soon I couldn't feel them at all as I heard some rocks hit the ground. However one sound caught me off, I heard a small splash.

Water…I thought to myself. Where was it? I started thinking in a panicked state. I needed to find it, even if it was a small puddle I thought. It sounded farther away from the wall my instinct kicked in. It was almost like the instincts I felt near death, that last fight for survival, scratching and clawing for that last scrap of meat to eat to survive. It was the exact same instinct I felt when saving Auron in Macalania.

I suddenly put my foot out towards the wall and yelped as I felt my ankle smash into a rock jutting out. However I still managed to make my foot scrape along the wall as I pushed off of it like springboard. I soon felt myself falling faster and I couldn't see the wall anymore. Next thing I knew I was plunged into freezing cold water, the cold water stabbing at my skin like icicles.

Instincts kicked in again before I could panic, I felt myself swimming up, or at least I thought up. It was so dark I couldn't tell. When I felt air I knew I was right direction wise and barely had enough time to swim to the side as something swooshed past me, making a big splash. Was it a fiend? Was it Auron? What was it? I freaked a little and swam as far away from it as I could.

I felt my back smack into rock and knew I found the edge of the pool, it wasn't very big, but it sure felt deep. I brought an arm up to feel around for the edge but I couldn't find it, I couldn't feel a thing. Before I could think about that I heard a thud. I winced at the sound and attempted to pull myself out using my other hand, finding an edge but found I couldn't with one arm.

I brought my hands close to my face; the only reason I knew was because I felt my fingers smash into my nose. It was so dark down here, the light couldn't penetrate. Yet as I glanced up I could see a small speck of light. I was still looking up when I heard a groan nearby. The thud must have been Auron. But shouldn't he be dead? I was lucky to hit water but he had hit rock.

"Auron" I said a bit frightened.

"You're alive?" he said a bit surprised.

"I should be saying the same thing…" I found the courage to say.

"Where are you?" you asked and I hear a small shift in movement.

"In the water…"

"Water?" I heard some more shuffling and then another thud.

"Auron! Are you ok?" I couldn't help but squeak a little.

"Tripped on a rock…" I finally heard him replied in an annoyed tone.

I stifled a small laugh for now was the time but I smiled a little knowing he was okay.

"How can you even walk?" I finally asked

"I landed on something… I think it was your chocobo. It was soft and feathery"

"Oh…." I responded quietly, I felt so bad for the chocobo "Can you help me out of the water….?"

"Can't you get out?" he sounded annoyed and then added "I can't even see you…"

My hand which was still resting on the edge of the pool seemed rather dry now so I pulled it away from the edge and closed my eyes, using my legs to stay afloat. I thought deep, deep into the back of my mind and as I thought of light I felt warmth near my hand. I opened my eyes slowly to see a ball of fire and I held it up a bit more, only seeing Auron's outline a bit away.

He started to walk towards me a bit and I heard him ask "Why can't you get out?"

He then crouched down at the edge and I got a much better look at him. He seemed fine except for a gash on his temple, which was still bleeding. As my eyes traveled down I saw some dried blood at his nose and a small cut on his lower lip.

"Pull up my other arm…' I said slowly keeping the flame close to me.

Auron grabbed my other arm and pulled it close to his face so he could see better. I soon saw my hand as well, most of the flesh on my hand was bruised and my fingers looked either broken or dislocated. I watched as he brought his other hand up to them and ran a finger across my fingers slowly. I couldn't help but wince a bit, which I found odd. I hadn't been able to feel them well yet his gentle touch made me wince. Unless it was more of an emotional reaction…I begin to think

"Sorry" he spoke quietly and grabbed my other arm gently.

He blew out the flame in my hand and then I felt myself being lifted out of the water little by little till I was planted onto the ground with a wet smack. I groaned a little at the rough drop and curled up a bit, finding my wounded arm and holding my hand close to my chest.

"Rikku I need that fire again, so we can make a normal one…" he explained and I could feel him crouch down near me, trying to find me again.

"Ok…" I said solemly.

I had no idea as to why I suddenly felt so depressed. Was all my energy truly gone? It seemed as though I was broken again….

Author Notes: this chapter took forever to write! Obviously….lol. well the idea for this came to my head yesterday afternoon in between college classes so I wrote it down in my notebook. Yes it has been ages.

That's all I have really for author notes other then that this chapter made me realize I had a lot of stuff written in the past and I didn't like all of it. I felt rushes, etc. so if you want I'm starting to rewrite the story all together. You should check it out. 1st chapter is all done so far.

Guess only other thing to say is I've changed it a bit! Its been 3 yearsish.. I've happy now, with the best guy In the world (just had 3 year annv) and I'm no longer in high school. I'm in college now. Woo. First year of college, started yesterday XD anyways. Please R/R. let me know how you like this. Comments, suggestions…sorry to keep all of you guys waiting for so long. I hope with this new chapter all the old readers will come back!

::hands out songstress Rikku plushies::

Ja Mata!

Sakura Yosei (Eimii)


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